The LOL Corner

This regular news article promises to make you giggle, chortle, and laugh your ass off.

Every edition will feature a collection of the funniest chat network quotes.

dAmnIt! is a database of funny quotes submitted by deviants like you.

dAmnIt! has reached over 27,000 quotes!!!

When something funny happens in a chatroom, share it with everyone! It only takes a few clicks, and while you're there browse through all the other hilarious quotes!

Feel free to note me with suggested dAmnIt! quotes to go into the next edition. Please make sure that the quote has already been submitted and approved to dAmnIt! and that you give me the quote number in your note.

The Last 10 Editions:
One Year Special Edition

Edition Seventy-One
Edition Seventy-Two
Edition Seventy-Three
Edition Seventy-Four
Edition Seventy-Five
Edition Seventy-Six
Edition Seventy-Seven
Edition Seventy-Eight
Edition Seventy-Nine
Edition Eighty

The Link

Above each quote you can find a link to the quote. This will show you who submitted the quote and give you the opportunity to it if you enjoyed it, a newer feature to dAmnit!. It also makes it easier to share quotes with friends.

Semi-Special Edition

As I was absent for three weeks, this edition is (theoretically, but not necessarily) eight quotes from each week I missed. The hope here is that I picked some really good ones to compensate for the fact that you missed the usual 20 a week. I hope you enjoy!

The Quotes

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06:02:15 pm <danielledragons123> I BROKE MY RIB
06:03:00 pm <22980>
06:03:02 pm <22980> YAY
06:03:06 pm <22980> CONGRATS
06:03:23 pm <22980> opps
06:03:26 pm <22980> wrong chat...


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<uberjoe19> CalvinRottenFox: Yaoi is really gay.


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09:57:43 PM * imamyrose went through the history on her brothers computer and found 3 porn sites bookmarked on it. Haked the computer so hard that now when ever he tries to look at porn a message comes up saying 'Think Of Your Family '


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<thederangedone> Novel-Huck: My mom is a saint! She only did it once, which is when I was conceived and that was an ACCIDENT. She dropped her contact lens and then bent down to get it and my dad accidentally walked in to her.
<uberjoe19> thederangedone: How did her her panties get lowered to facilitate penetration?
<thederangedone> uberjoe19: It was laundry day.


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* LadyLadybug's friend is trying to make her put on dresses :C
* LadyLadybug's friend says she shouldn't be such a goddamn pussy and just put the dresses on like a man


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<execoot> how can someone get the senior member status?
<exzes> execoot: You have to sleep with someone
<execoot> exzes: I KNEW IT!


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06:15:22 PM <DJDragonwolf> Cherry was cherry, ORange was orange, so on
06:15:32 PM <DJDragonwolf> And they got to the Honey one
06:15:41 PM <DJDragonwolf> And they couldn't tell what flavor it was.
06:15:50 PM <DJDragonwolf> And the teacher was all
06:16:03 PM <DJDragonwolf> "Your mother may call your dad this"
06:16:11 PM <DJDragonwolf> And this one chick spat the candy out
06:16:24 PM <DJDragonwolf> "OMG SPIT THEM OUT EVERYONE THEY'RE ASSHOLES!"


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10:04:51 PM <Maw123> im hungery, but ive not got any food
10:05:16 PM <Godliek> I'm Germany.
10:05:19 PM <Godliek> Hi hungary
10:05:30 PM <Maw123>
10:05:32 PM <BlissfullySarcastic> Godliek: I'm Turkey, hide me.


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18:27:22 <Sting1> A single sperm has 37.5MB of DNA information in it. That means that a normal ejaculation represents a data transfer of 1,587.5TB
18:27:39 <OpalMist> Sting1:
18:27:40 <Tachy-on> Sting1:
18:27:45 <FixMeKnow>
18:27:55 <Trapiki> A very messy data transfer
18:27:55 <Sting1> Man, this month I wasted a lot of terabytes.


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04:39:34 PM <Isvarmt> I never get penis jokes.
04:39:36 PM <Isvarmt> :c
04:40:00 PM <Isvarmt> I'm really good at pulling them though.
04:40:01 PM <Isvarmt> The jokes.
04:40:02 PM <Isvarmt> I mean.


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12:39:21 AM <vastblue> I just replied to someone asking what my favourite colour is with the answer "#006699".
12:39:25 AM <vastblue> Dear god, I need to get a life.


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<itsjustgent> good bye everyone
<itsjustgent> FOREVER
** itsjustgent was kicked by DemonInsanity * BYE.
** itsjustgent has joined
<itsjustgent> ):
<itsjustgent> FORGOT MY PURSE
** itsjustgent has left [connection closed]


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<Hanratty-Stock> I have christmas underwear on. It makes me feel like a slut.


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17:26:29 <MetarsusDemented> This bread is my body, this wine is my blood, this string cheese is my hair.
17:27:58 <MetarsusDemented> This tomato is my head, these carrots are my fingers, and these drumsticks are my legs
17:28:20 <MetarsusDemented> "Jesus, stop playing with your food."
17:28:27 <MetarsusDemented> "Oh, shut up, Judas."


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<Platinus> Where did lenawargo? She thought she heard her DataScream, so she went to see DoctorJenn. She told Lena that she was just DepresedByLogic. This was a real killjoy, to say the least. So, she went back home to sit on her lazybutt and drink some koffeeben. Suddenly, a pshyco-ninja-monkey jumped in from her window! Spilling her koffeeben onto the carpet made alot of monochromatic-stains. Turns out the monkey was just an invisibledecoy for the real intruder,a CommonSenseless ComicBookGuy! He jumped in like PurpelBlur and scooped her up and took her across the vastblue where they played kirby. the ComicBookGuy's DarkestVirtue was that he was a great chef. He offered her some fungus but Lena just replied, "i-hate-mushrooms!" and that was that! The ComicBookGuy shot lenawargo with his LazyGunn. She met the creator and PotHeadJesus and he told her the secrets of the Miko-RESURRECTION! In the afterlife, she went to find the Wizard-Kgalm who showed her how to be one of The-Rainbow-Eaters and she came back to life and lived happily ever after!


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<Reverend-Zaide> well at the store the other day the lady infront of me bought some Land O Lakes butter
<Reverend-Zaide> the screen showed "LOL Big Butt"
<EvilWrestler> Reverend-Zaide:
<Kyo-Cat-San> Reverend-Zaide: I stupid loled


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<VemberJudgement>Sex with Santa tonight will be epic
<BrokenSwordx>VemberJudgement: you put the ho in ho ho ho


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<love4art> i remember hearing "bang bang bang" noises when i was little and i kinda knew what was happening, my sister said "ewww" and i said "no shutup, i want a baby brother" LOL


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<Fwertz> FUCK WRAPPING GIFTS.
<Fwertz> FOREVER.
<Fwertz> I would rather chug highly carbonated soda after eating extremely hot chili.
<Fwertz> I would rather heave myself into the coldest volcano
<Fwertz> I would rather be forced to jump on a fucking broken trampoline for eternity
<Fwertz> I would rather be an easily accessible towel in the San Fernando Valley.
<Fwertz> I would rather write a dissertation on taste differences between Uranium isotopes.
<Fwertz> I would rather be forced to spellcheck youtube comments.
<Fwertz> I would rather revive overly mutilated roadkill.
<Fwertz> I would rather use twitter.
<Fwertz> I would rather teach Yao Ming English.
<Fwertz> I would rather type things that I would rather do for the rest of time.
<Fwertz> I would rather test every 9-volt battery in the world with my tongue
<Fwertz> I would rather post this on dAmn it myself for lame self promotion.


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<squible> wait...what the hell was I ranting about?
<duststorm10> squible: Your short term memory loss?


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<LightRougeFan> does anyone even know who kiba and akamaru are?
<DXCUCR> LightRougeFan: They're either types of sushi, obscure trees, or anime characters.


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04:08:30 AM <Ghost-Insignus> The internet is a magical place of anonymous wonders. Its like a 24/7 halloween high school dance, with hopped up and shady college kids slipping in to deal pcp and heroin while the 9th graders try to get frisky behind the spooky tree and the teachers watch sternly from the stage yelling at all they can see. And everyone is wearing a mask, except for the people who don't.


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01:10:20 PM * aplmngo showers naked
01:10:23 PM <Juggled> ...
01:10:26 PM <Juggled> most people do, aplmngo


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06:55:27 PM <Zombiequeen12> i got chocolate chip chocolate ice cream
06:55:37 PM <Zombiequeen12> it tastes like diabetes