Well, it's the 1st of July 2007, and all across the land, a smoking ban in indoor public places has taken effect. No longer will I be able to sit in the pub, drinking down a pint, and take my share of the most unsociable 'social' act known to man. Such a shame... oh wait, yes, that was said with just a small smattering of sarcasm wasn't it.

I have been around smokers for many years now, and it doesn't surprise me that the many hundreds of them that there are in this country have found a reason to bitch and moan about this ban. I can safely say that their rants and whines are downright unfounded. Smoking is considered to be a 'social' act, yet as it literally forces those of us who don't want to smoke, to smell like Mr Marlboro himself, I can't really see the argument for it to be considered 'sociable'.

I'm not even making this argument from a total biased standpoint either, I have tried cigarettes before, and I was able to make up my own decision on them. Those amongst us who are addicted to sucking on these drastically overpriced sticks of disease all have one thing in common. They are all weak willed. For them, the desire to look 'cool' overpowered the desire for a higher quality of life further down the road. Of course, once they don't smoke for the sake of looking cool anymore, it's too late... they're addicted. I've heard all the excuses "It helps me calm down, I’m stressed" Yeah? That’s not it really is it? Your body is actually dependent on having that nicotine in its system isn't it. Yes... it's true! I could never see myself becoming addicted to smoking. The experience of one's lungs filling with more chemicals than there are in Saddam's garden shed is not one I could deal with on a regular basis. I am not ashamed that I have tried a cigarette. I had my curiosities, and I dealt with them, and came off better for it. I now know exactly what I'm not missing.

What makes me laugh the most about this ban is the backlash it's had amongst the smoking 'community'. Whereas most optimistic people would see this as the perfect opportunity to kick the habit, it turns out, the majority of smokers are the biggest damn pessimists in the world. All they care about is the fact that they will have to go outside to smoke. Bless the poor darlings; they'll get cold while they slowly reduce their lifespan? Fuck the lot of 'em I say! (No, not in the biblical sense, the smell would put me off more than anything) If they place getting their next fix over being able to see who their talking to in a pub, then they've really got some social issues that need some seeing to. Seeing one of my best friends reduced to whining about how he won't be able to smoke in the pub is not a pretty sight. I'm quite often filled with the urge to elbow him in the face every time he begins to bitch about such things, but the simple fact that he would drop me with one punch always seems to overpower that urge. All this whiney bitching and pathetic moaning brings me onto the point of the funniest damn sight I've had the chance to witness in a long while. You can witness this most comical of happenings on most station platforms. Once a train has come to a complete halt, off get the passengers that have reached their destination, followed by a handful of smokers who have been after their fix of nicotine since the last stop. It's flat out pathetic that these people are slaves to corporations that have a bigger bank account than most countries.

The sad irony is, that many pubs and clubs are being forced to build outside smoking areas to cater for their smokers, because they are, in essence, their main customer base. Apparently you don't go to the pub for a pint and a chinwag anymore! God knows how the non-smokers manage it! Sitting there, not smoking while they drink their pints, how do they do it?!

I suppose I am being slightly harsh though. After all, I'm preying on the vast stereotype of the quintessential smoker. It's just a shame that those 'respectable' smokers amongst us want to lump themselves into that stereotype. When I say 'respectable' smoker, I'm referring to the ones that take such radical steps such as not blowing their smoke in the faces of the people they are talking to. Not sparking up in a crowded room of non-smokers. You know, just revolutionary things like that.

To sum up, this ban will not stop smokers being smokers, It will not stop people from becoming being smokers, but it will allow me to see what the far wall looks like from the other side of the pub. I shall sit next to the roaring fire in my local, sipping my pint, and contemplating the day gone by. As I gaze out into the cold winter evening, I shall be filled with a warm sense of jovial glee as I catch sight of that group of dark figures huddled together in the night, lit only by a dim orange glow against their faces.