Hello, and welcome to the Forum Newsletter, the series which gets sweeties from journalism then eggs its house.

There's a lot in this issue, so let's get going!


The Forum News


=ShadowGamers

holyshitwhatthefuckwhatthefuck

For those who don't know who =ShadowGamers is, because they've been a) living under a rock or b) have a life outside of the internet, he's both a provider of lulz in the Complaints forum and a gigantic troll.

There was a lot of controversy about his banning, but I think when the dust settled on it, most people could agree he deserved to be banned whether for the reason given or his trolling spree.

So this (unbanning him), like I've said a couple of times before, is rather like deciding Charles Manson was actually a bit of laugh and inviting him to the Polanski family reunion.

I mean, he is a great laugh and I'm happy his back, but WTFDA.

DON'T EVER CHANGE YOUR RANDOM BANNING PROCESS ;_;

View his somewhat triumphant return to the forums.


Not a lot else, actually

I'm almost sure $lolly did this just so there'd be some news to do.

There is, however, the Murk March '07 to do - go to ~MurkMarch07 to find out what it's all about and sign up!

Oh, of course, there was ~r00t's unbanning too! He was a whore before my time so I don't know a lot about him, and he hasn't made a return to the forums like SG. However, preeeetty odd

And *Unch returned after his brief hiatus, bring scourge to the forums and warmth to my crotch.


Forum Lessons!

Hay guiz, have you heard about the Gallery Forums?

To reach them, click the 'categories' button below the main forum title and choose 'galleries'

They can be really useful, but sadly they're not active enough! But I'm certain if more people used them they could be something really special. Some deviants, like *Beccalicious, are trying to clean them up as well (the Fantasy Lit forum in her case) and I'm hoping it all works out

If you need help with, or want discussion about, art be sure to check them out


An Interview With Vernon

A new feature to the newsletters, interviews with forumers. Read my interview with the foruming legend that is @VernonX9000

_{Apologies for length}


My Interview With @VernonX9000

Pulling up to Vernon’s mansion, he greets me himself. Despite his forum celebrity, he is clearly still a down-to-earth man.

As he greets me, a wave of whiskey odour slams into my face. Taken aback by the stench, I collapse to the ground crying. The fumes enter every orifice; alcohol chokes off my air supply and scorches my skin and eyes.

I imagine the painless release death would bring at this point.

When I come to, Vernon has brought me into his house and I am lying on his sofa in his living room. A picture of him naked faces me and I gaze at his testicles until he returns, unashamed at the pain his alcoholic aura has caused me. We begin the interview after I piss on a cloth and put it over my mouth to stop gas poisoning.

“Well, I first popped into the forums around early '05, after joining dA, but wasn't really active until around later.
I joined at first for self-promotion. But then in late August/early September of '05 my life took one of its most drastic turns.
I'm from New Orleans and we got hit pretty hard by Hurricane Katrina. Afterwards, I found myself living out in the middle of nowhere in Mississippi with my family and knew no one. All of my friends were now spread across the country – that was just a real shock to me. But then I was like: ‘Well, I remember seeing a bunch of folks on that website forum; let's see what's going on there. And I did.’”

It’s obvious Vernon loves the forumers who he communicates with on daily basis as he recounts those who shaped his early times on the forums:

“!FloydianJoe, ~hereticschizoid, *seveneves, *curran, *roguewolf19, ~MattGreen, ~integral, ~Hexglitter, ~White-Wolfen, ~WorstCaseGenius, *owens, `happienoodleboy, ~wazzdakka, those guys aren’t around much any more. When I first started there were people who joined at the same time and we all hung together, mainly in the #Ellipses crowd” - started by Vern’s former lover, =jake10684 - “`summaro, *KagomeResurrected, ^truemarmalade, `MurkHellsing, *MegMcMuffin, `FixMeKnow, ~radicus-wolf, =votemark, =Spoolaroo, =plasticgiantcatbear, ~motchi, ~Jimcus, =Gordorca, ~Inc-, =S-Que and =morbidman187.
There’s also people who don’t really fit into these categories, older people like *manic-cure, `dxd, and `mp3chuck who are still around and folks who started around the same time as me like ^Hanratty-Stock or ~CJ-Beggs [now *Vlei] who I was friends with but wasn't in the #Ellipses thing.”

He laughs as he tries to remember more names, lost at the bottom of a bottle of Newcastle Brown.

Forever synonymous with Vernon is his character, Dexter Breakfast. Many people believe Dexter is the real person, a claim Vernon laughs off.
I inquire about his artwork and how the Forums have influence it while he takes me on a tour of the house. In the master bedroom a massive picture of @shutdown is painted on the ceiling. The eyes stare into me and I nearly pass out.

“Well, there was that Forums pic I did about a year and a half ago¹ along with a ton of birthday cards pics I did for various forum friends in '06.
Other than that, I'd say they've influenced me in that they've led me to a bunch of galleries I never would've seen before - before I hit the forums I used to just browse the Cartoons and Comics galleries.”

As time goes on, I am more in awe of the man. He invites me into one of his foruming sessions – a rare treat. His fingers are a blur on the keyboards of his dual-computer system. He has 5 monitors, one of which constantly plays a porno movie to keep Vern “in the zone.” When a horse enters the scene I decide to ask Vernon how his time on the forums has affected his life.

“Well, they've changed my perception of online communities - since I'd never really been a part of one before. I've made a ton of friends here, a lot of which has carried over into the outside world.”

I ask him what he wants to see from the forums.

“I see the forums as being a fountain of unity, bonding Deviants from across the site and around the world to usher in a new age of intelligent discussion and growth.”

When Vernon laughs he is like an Adonis.

“Seriously though, I'm not really sure. People come, people go, lulz are had, trolls are banned, old people bitch about the ‘good old days’, new people have fun that they can bitch about later and refer to as the ‘good old days’...and through it all, we'll always have *manic-cure.”

“What I would like to see though is for people to think before they post.
I think regulars need to realize that they were once new too, saying and doing dumb stuff just like those they flame. And while I think new people should definitely lurk more to get a feel for how things work; I think the regulars should lighten up a bit as well.
For example, say someone posts a thread and then a few days later someone else posts the same thread, don't flame the new thread-maker with ‘God, we just talked about this 3 days ago!’ They weren't here, they don't know.
Also, any more than 3 re-directs to a misposted thread is pretty unnecessary. Just try and help people out. This place is supposed to be about community, not being a dick, so let's lose the Forum Elitism. I hated it when I first joined and I still hate it now.”

It may come as a shock to his fans, but Vern has battled with an alcohol problem over the years. He tells me about the rock and roll times when he forumed under the influence.

“Ah, the drunken threads. Most of 'em I didn't really regret, but there was one I made about a year and a half ago that I completely forgot about when I woke up the next day. Then I checked my messages and saw the replies and re-read the thread,” he grimaces, “I hopped in #Ellipses and everyone was asking me how I was feeling. I said how I was glad that stupid thread had dropped off the board and had been gone for a few hours.
Not too long afterwards ^truemarmalade went and bumped it back just to mess with me.”

The court case over the assault of ^truemarmalade was a hard time for Vernon, but he got over it to become a member of the MN@. I asked him if this was a hard step to take.

“It was actually a fairly easy step to make, like a natural progression. When I first started out - before the MN@-takeover as forum mods - you didn't see too many staff or admins in the forums. Then @shutdown joined the mn@ and later @Rendarin and @mykel followed by @quickdraw and @electricjonny So when $chix0r put out the call for more MN@ I hopped at the chance, especially when she said it was cool that I focus mainly on the forums. I mean, it gave me a chance to help maintain a part of this site that helped keep my sanity a few years ago when my world had been completely flipped upside down. I'd like to think I haven't "sold out" in any way, I'm still me...a smart-ass spouting off retarded one-liners and cross-gendered flirting with the occasional serious post thrown in for good measure.”

Talking about the MN@ reminds Vernon of an anecdote of his.

“It was like the day before I was made an MN@. Karen - my fiancée, *Chia-en - and I had a backyard cookout and I got pretty hammered and made a thread. After making the thread I hopped into #Forum or #treefort and then $chix0r popped in too and asked me to meet her in #MNAdmin. She's like: "Are you drunk?" and I'm like "Yep " and she says: "I'm really surprised at your behavior, especially the day before we were set to bring you on the Admin Team." I ask if she's kidding and she assures me that she's completely serious. I'm all "Wait, I've seen $lolly and others make threads and post after a night out" and so on. Then @shutdown says something like: "How big a brick did Vernon just shit in his pants?" and all the other @'s start laughing.”

Vernon leads me down the driveway of his mansion to the entrance gate. I am unable to look away from his face. He seems visibly concerned about my attention.

“Hopefully, I’ll always be here. I've made some great friends here. Though the next year will see my activity dropping a bit as I'm pretty busy between comic work and planning my wedding - definitely not enough hours in the day right now!”

As I drive off, I observe Vernon gliding over a lake to heal an injured swan.

He smiles at me and I ejaculate into my trousers.


Vernon’s favourite forum moments:

"I'm 15 and mite hav teh AIDZ": [link]
Best shortest thread ever: [link]
The dAv5 "launch" thread: [link] with teh L33TEST screenshot: [link]
Peoms: [link]
Snapevine & Livejournal (of course): [link]
Best hijack ever: [link]
The Game: [link]
When Murk locked his own thread: [link]


¹[link]

_{Full version here: [link]}

Best of the Forums

Threads

People who take hypocrisy to a whole new level - This has so much irony that I manage to grab the link just using a magnet.

Where's the Van?! - *martypunker plans out his next bank job with us deviants.

Forum Duos - A look at some of the pairs in the dA Forums by @quickdraw

If I started an thread? Would you like totally reply? - I SURE DON'T KNOW

Your name--an acronym? - Some nice acronyms here.

This is a question for Americans only - Is anything else true?

Why yes! There IS a Pac-Man fandom! - A look at one of the weirdest fandoms out there

Comments



Yeah! People are grumpy! At the internet! Cool!

_{[link] by ~ohevelynsgonnabashme}

(In a battle of crude stereotypes)

OH NO YOU DON'T *fires nagging beam*

doilookfatyounevercalltellmeimprettywher esmychocolaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaattttee eeee

_{[link] by =XSunbeamX}

(On the new Radiohead album)

This is not a Complaint. Please use the Pretentious Ass forum for such discussion.



_{[link] by @Stykera}

(On a country run by /b/)

"Great news Johnson, we're giving you a raise. You're now making seven mudkipz and thirty SPARTAAAAAAAAAAAANS an hour"

_{[link] by ~Exyo}



TODAYS BREAKING NEWS: BIBLE HAS NONSENSICAL MOMENT, ONE PERSON ASTOUNDED!!

_{[link] by *Winterdreamer}



Okay.

I made you a graphic representation of how wrong you are.

[link]

You see, there is no necessary intersection between atheists at large, and evolutionists (as you call them.) Some atheists believe in evolution, and some don't, so the fact that you're aiming a diatribe about evolution specifically at atheists is really rather nonsensical.

Also, to make it clearer how that venn diagram works, I have represented that I'm not truly happy unless I'm masturbating, since there is no overlap between them.

_{[link] by *Unch}



Biblehumpers? D:

OH JESUS I CAAAAAAAAAAAME FOR YOOOOOOOOOOOOU

_{[link] by =ShadowGamers}

()

Captain's Log, Stardate 54324.5: Shit.

_{[link] by ~Bullet-Magnet}


God, there was a lot this month


And finally...

YET ANOTHER CHANGE TO THE UPDATING OF THIS NEWS ARTICLE.

I will now update this on last Sunday of every month. This way, I can get the most time to do it and still get a lot of quotes/threads

Important thing! - The Forum Newsletter Awards!

Yes, awards for the forums. MAGICAL.

The system will work thus: People shall be nominated to me. In the next edition, the nominees will be listed and voting will commence, and winners will be declared. Hurrah!

There will be many categories, however I feel four in particular will receive a lot of nominations so I'm posting them now:

BEST FORUMER 07

BEST IN DEVIANTS (FORUMER)

BEST IN COMPLAINTS (FORUMER)

BEST N00B (Less that one year on the forums)

To nominate, Note Me with the subject 'Forum Awards' (or something similar) and the person you nominate for each category.

You can only nominate one person for each category but the same person could be nominated in more than one category.

A special edition of the Forum Newsletter will go up in the middle of November with the other categories

Obviously, you cannot nominate yourself!

If there are too many nominees, I may include a system where a person needs 3 or more nominations to be included in the voting (3 being any number, really. I'm kinda winging it.)

I hope that's all clear, ask me if there's any confusion!


Also remember, feel free to note me suggestions for this article, threads/comments and now suggestions for forum interviews

And Happy Hallowe'en