Over the holidays a few our our dedicated Seniors got together and decided to search out deserving deviants and critique their pieces as a sort of "Secret Santa" holiday present. I admit I was a bit late in getting the article out, and for that I apologize, but the kind and giving spirit behind the project is relevant at any time of the year

These critiques are a wonderful example of what constructive, worthwhile criticism can look like, and the pieces in question highlight some of the less-noticed artforms of this site, such as literature.


Our first piece is Windswept, a beautiful poem written by *anextraordinarygirl.

The illustrious `AbCat, critic extraordinaire, has this (and more) to say about the piece:

This is an interesting piece. The idea of people feeling a connection with ancient buildings is frequent, but never seems to become hackneyed. The style is a little untidy, with rather choppy linebreaks and unnecessary indentations, but some of the wording here is spot on, and this makes it quite enjoyable.

I like the opening verse, which connects the narrator's hair with that of all those who've also had their hair whipped by the wind there before, which gives an excellent sense of shared experience between past and present.

To read more of the critique, please check the comment on the deviation.


Up next we have another piece critiqued by `AbCat (he was a busy man over this holiday season): Late November Haiku set by *RedDragonfly.

As `AbCat states, This is a curious and startling collection of haiku here. We agree! Please take the time to read through the deviation and the insightful critique noted in this comment.


`lovetodeviate, who is anxiously preparing for the Lit Critique Competition, took time out of her busy schedule to offer a wonderful critique to ~dentalplan on the poem, All his milestones on film.

The critique begins with this even-handed bit of advice: You have an uncanny ability to describe things: “his childhood became unwrapped/ like a mother’s parcel at boarding school” and “He is spread on celluloid/ like a sand angel” are particularly ingenious. That is what attracted me to the poem.

There is, however, space for improvement. I feel that the poem is incomplete on some level; it was only when I read the author’s comment that I realised you were talking about an actor. I simply assumed that N was referring to home videos, and the reference to Bombay only confused me. After several reads, yes, I see how this is about an Indian actor, possibly a Bollywood actor (which is slightly different, in my opinion)—the line “A song of religious ecstasy” describes quite accurately the way Bollywood actors are treated as gods. Yet, there are not enough clues. As an Indian I feel that I should have ‘got’ it earlier, but I didn’t. I wonder if another Indian reader would ‘get’ it? Even so, the poem is for a much wider and more varied audience that just Indians; would they be familiar with the few references you have made to the Indian film industry? One has to consider the poem on its own to see if it reveals what it needs to without any extraneous information before it can be called complete, I think. I say this with regard only to craft and not to New Criticism or anything other kind of literary criticism (not my field of expertise, really).

Later in the comment, which you can read here, `lovetodeviate explore specific lines and gives helpful suggestions on how to improve individual aspects of the piece. Make sure you read the poem, and maybe you can learn with the critique!


Up next we have `Beccalicious offering her perspective on =Squarix's piece of short prose, Gutsy.

As :devbeccalicious states, When I first read Gutsy I was expecting something that would make me laugh out loud. It did make me smile, but only through that final punch line; the rest didn’t have any irony or humour than I was kind of expecting. However a punch line can work effectively with the right build up, and I feel that maybe in revising you could find that build up in a more effective way.

An excellent start to a wonderful critique, indeed. Be sure to read more of it here.


And last but not least, our only visual entry for this edition comes in ~laravsthetomb's photomanipulation, The Lost Temple



This time the piece was critiqued by the knowledgable `lady-blue, who had these great things to say:

This is a really beautiful photomanip, and I've really enjoyed looking at it! You have a way with creating an unforgettable fantasy world. However, I hope you'll appreciate an in-depth critique to help you become even better. I do have some comments and concerns in this piece.

First, maybe it's just me, but when I first looked at this manip, something about it looked just a little off, and it took me a second to figure it out. It seems to me that the pillars you used aren't completely up and down, and this makes it seem like the whole building is leaning back a little, which takes away from the dimensional qualities of it. In other words, it makes it look a little squashed.

The colors in this are beautiful, but it's all in the same tones, which makes it a little boring. It would've been neat to have a little contrast. For example, I would've perhaps made the woman's gown a nice sapphire blue to help her stand out. I also would have chosen a different frame color. Your frame doesn't need to match your picture. A solid black border would've made the piece look more polished.

There's more, of course, and you can read the entire critique here.




Well folks, that's all for this round! Thank you kindly to the seniors who participated in the project, and thank you even more to the wonderful writers and artists who put their deviations out there for us to bot enjoy and learn from. We are better people for having been exposed to your creativity!

Happy New Year. Critique someone's work today!