So many 'awful' entries that I had to resort to some Grey Goose and Southern Comfort to get the bad taste out of my mouth from this contest. We had a range of really nasty haikus, to mostly random ones, and some really cleverly worded ones. I had a lot of fun judging and coming up with the awards for these based on how I interpreted your pieces. Thanks to all who submitted and you're all winners respectively!

TOP 3 WINNERS

*inspiredimperfection

Nothing personal;
If you can't swallow your 'ride'
Why should I succumb

1st Place - How to Lose Someone Award - This poem is so bad and cleverly worded that it sounds good. This one will bite you in the ass hard if you read it enough times and *inspiredimperfection cruelly placates the other bad haikus with this one.


~sinfaery

My hamster is lost
I ask Dad has he seen him
His butt is squeaking

2nd Place - Another Gay PETA Lawsuit Award - This is one of those haikus that just makes you bust out laughing with the proper imagery and sometimes a sense of, "WTF?". Keeps you wondering what happened to the hamster and reminds you of gay guys that like to stick hamsters up their ass. Or Hammy happened to get sit upon by Dad. Either way, where's that cute Hamster turning it's head video when you need it.


*fllnthblnk

Ass-hairs in yo mouth:
Shoulda kept it shut, brotha
Maple bonsai blooms.

3rd Place - Something You Might See on Jackass Award - This haiku is just plain nasty and we had a lot of entries in the nasty category, but the fact this made the top 3 considering it had a really nasty attribute, but then the originally cliched Haiku line which pertains to nature just thrown in there for added effect.

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HONORABLE MENTIONS


*batousaijin

Bears mating in fall
reminds me of two giant
hobos mud-wrestling.

Honorable Mention - Don't Watch National Geographic and Bumfights in one night
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~Sputnik2

I have ADD
Did you know that ADD-
Hey look a pony!

Honorable Mention *chases squirrel with stick*
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~cbpride

im not like doze hoez
im just a tear filled blak rose
not a garden tool

Honorable Mention - Ghetto Emo Award
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~Lalamags

xxxxxXXX i CRy TeeRS oF BLooD XXXxxxxx
xXXX My SoaL iS BLaCK aND aNGSTy XXXx
xxxxxxxXXX CHeeR uP eMo KiD XXXxxxxxxx

Honorable Mention - My Chemical Romance Award
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`Beccalicious

never curse yourself,
with a stupid limerick--
disguised as haiku.

Honorable Mention - Join *fllnthblnk's Limerick Contest Award

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THE REST OF THE COMPETITION

~cute-deadly666

Do your boobs hang low
do they wobble to the floor
tie them in a knot?

Breast Enlargement Award
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~LilithLairPoetry

Gonorrhea
Herpes and Syphilis
Thanks a lot MOM!

You Don't Listen Very Well DQ'd Award
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~livingtoxic

one two three four five;
one two three four five six 7
one two three four five.

Sesame Street Award
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*vykoth

Now Confucius say:
"Stay away from dirty girl"
Crabs in he moustache.

Dirty Old Man Award
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~ImmortalEcstasyDream

Steaming pile of crap,
Always smelled before seen.
I regret nothing.

SpiderSense Tingling Award
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~gr8titz

Dude awesome
Californicating wind
Smiles bad breath

Malibu Appreciation Award
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~UnrealLoveHatred

shit shit shit shit shit
shit shit shit shit shit shit shit
shit shit shit Haiku.

I Ate Too Much Chocolate Award
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~iznbodyzangel

Sometimes I dislike
The things you decide to say
"Green squirrels in the trees"

I Like Being Random Award
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~Benji-man

Me no write often
Me not know poetry but
I know this haiku

First Person Perspective Award
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=Phoenix316

Moon looks down sadly,
Reflects in eye of distracted deer.
BANG! Roadkill.

Hic, I dank I'm Dwunk Award
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*KennethSnow

Hippy Dippy Do
The rat ate lunch without you;
Bad Tipper you are

Don't Eat at McDonalds Award
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~Aspartam

I win contest
The buttons so dear
P.O. lost them

Blame the MailMan Award
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*RosaLaRouge

Youse lub me no mo
like why youse no like me nows
I wish youse woods dye

Foot in Mouth Award
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~DemonTots

Face like squished grape
But I do love you that way
With that ugly face

A Haiku for Shar-Pei's
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~NickyHoliday

- C'mon you lital rascal...tell me what 1337 punX do...plz,plz...
- OMG - thei wear Pikachu s0X you dork!
- ROFLMAO...I knew dat.

Myspace Appreciation Award
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~crazysherba

Just some pills
Paranoia
Suicide is here

VampireFreaks.com Award
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~blakealtman

Willy-nilly girl?
masticating; Wildly in-
to the NORTHERN: air!!!!

Too much Northern Exposure can be Harmful Award
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=M-PlayC3ll

Haiku is cool and stuff,
cherry blossom burp,
up, up and away!

Just Weird Award
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=simonsaz3

I hate you, my Prince.
You are with another girl,
While I die alone.

Simon Says, "Go to Your Corner" Award
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~dudettedipstick

I hate the scent of
Flowers in the evening
Throw stink bombs on them

The Alternative to Axe Cologne Award
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~LurkerNothingmore

Even skunks like food.
My granny doesn't wear shoes.
Third random sentence.

Randomness MEEP Award
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~LissyFishy

Fuzzy sweaterz kill.
Life iz as cold as ice-cream.
Got raped by Elmo.

I Love to Sponsor Tickle-Me Elmos
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~foxx89

i suck at writing
especially a haiku
oh well man fuck it

Didn't Quite Cut it Award
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~nekonezume

I can has it? The
moste deelishus cheezburger.
Mrow mrow purr purr purr.

Rosie O'Donnell Award
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~KitaniRairakku

You jumble my spork.
And in defense I touch you.
Oh, my tralala~

How Gunther Molested Me Award
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