So many 'awful' entries that I had to resort to some Grey Goose and Southern Comfort to get the bad taste out of my mouth from this contest. We had a range of really nasty haikus, to mostly random ones, and some really cleverly worded ones. I had a lot of fun judging and coming up with the awards for these based on how I interpreted your pieces. Thanks to all who submitted and you're all winners respectively!
TOP 3 WINNERS
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inspiredimperfectionNothing personal;
If you can't swallow your '

ride'
Why should I succumb
1st Place - How to Lose Someone Award - This poem is so bad and cleverly worded that it sounds good. This one will bite you in the ass hard if you read it enough times and *
inspiredimperfection cruelly placates the other bad haikus with this one.
~
sinfaeryMy hamster is lost
I ask Dad has he seen him
His butt is squeaking
2nd Place - Another Gay PETA Lawsuit Award - This is one of those haikus that just makes you bust out laughing with the proper imagery and sometimes a sense of, "WTF?". Keeps you wondering what happened to the hamster and reminds you of gay guys that like to stick hamsters up their ass. Or Hammy happened to get sit upon by Dad. Either way, where's that cute Hamster turning it's head video when you need it.

*
fllnthblnkAss-hairs in yo mouth:
Shoulda kept it shut, brotha
Maple bonsai blooms.
3rd Place - Something You Might See on Jackass Award - This haiku is just plain nasty and we had a lot of entries in the nasty category, but the fact this made the top 3 considering it had a really nasty attribute, but then the originally cliched Haiku line which pertains to nature just thrown in there for added effect.
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HONORABLE MENTIONS
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batousaijinBears mating in fall
reminds me of two giant
hobos mud-wrestling.
Honorable Mention - Don't Watch National Geographic and Bumfights in one night-----------------------------------------------------
~
Sputnik2I have ADD
Did you know that ADD-
Hey look a pony!
Honorable Mention *chases squirrel with stick*-----------------------------------------------------

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cbprideim not like doze hoez
im just a tear filled blak rose
not a garden tool
Honorable Mention - Ghetto Emo Award-----------------------------------------------------
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LalamagsxxxxxXXX i CRy TeeRS oF BLooD XXXxxxxx
xXXX My SoaL iS BLaCK aND aNGSTy XXXx
xxxxxxxXXX CHeeR uP eMo KiD XXXxxxxxxx
Honorable Mention - My Chemical Romance Award-----------------------------------------------------
`
Beccaliciousnever curse yourself,
with a stupid limerick--
disguised as haiku.
Honorable Mention - Join *fllnthblnk's Limerick Contest Award-----------------------------------------------------
THE REST OF THE COMPETITION~
cute-deadly666Do your boobs hang low
do they wobble to the floor
tie them in a knot?
Breast Enlargement Award-----------------------------------------------------

~
LilithLairPoetryGonorrhea
Herpes and Syphilis
Thanks a lot MOM!
You Don't Listen Very Well DQ'd Award-----------------------------------------------------

~
livingtoxicone two three four five;
one two three four five six 7
one two three four five.
Sesame Street Award-----------------------------------------------------

*
vykothNow Confucius say:
"Stay away from dirty girl"
Crabs in he moustache.
Dirty Old Man Award-----------------------------------------------------

~
ImmortalEcstasyDreamSteaming pile of crap,
Always smelled before seen.
I regret nothing.
SpiderSense Tingling Award-----------------------------------------------------
~
gr8titzDude awesome
Californicating wind
Smiles bad breath
Malibu Appreciation Award-----------------------------------------------------
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UnrealLoveHatredshit shit shit shit shit
shit shit shit shit shit shit shit
shit shit shit Haiku.
I Ate Too Much Chocolate Award-----------------------------------------------------

~
iznbodyzangelSometimes I dislike
The things you decide to say
"Green squirrels in the trees"
I Like Being Random Award-----------------------------------------------------

~
Benji-manMe no write often
Me not know poetry but
I know this haiku
First Person Perspective Award-----------------------------------------------------

=
Phoenix316Moon looks down sadly,
Reflects in eye of distracted deer.
BANG! Roadkill.
Hic, I dank I'm Dwunk Award-----------------------------------------------------

*
KennethSnowHippy Dippy Do
The rat ate lunch without you;
Bad Tipper you are
Don't Eat at McDonalds Award-----------------------------------------------------
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AspartamI win contest
The buttons so dear
P.O. lost them
Blame the MailMan Award-----------------------------------------------------

*
RosaLaRougeYouse lub me no mo
like why youse no like me nows
I wish youse woods dye
Foot in Mouth Award-----------------------------------------------------

~
DemonTotsFace like squished grape
But I do love you that way
With that ugly face
A Haiku for Shar-Pei's-----------------------------------------------------

~
NickyHoliday- C'mon you lital rascal...tell me what 1337 punX do...plz,plz...
- OMG - thei wear Pikachu s0X you dork!
- ROFLMAO...I knew dat.
Myspace Appreciation Award-----------------------------------------------------

~
crazysherbaJust some pills
Paranoia
Suicide is here
VampireFreaks.com Award-----------------------------------------------------

~
blakealtmanWilly-nilly girl?
masticating; Wildly in-
to the NORTHERN: air!!!!
Too much Northern Exposure can be Harmful Award-----------------------------------------------------

=
M-PlayC3llHaiku is cool and stuff,
cherry blossom burp,
up, up and away!
Just Weird Award-----------------------------------------------------
=
simonsaz3I hate you, my Prince.
You are with another girl,
While I die alone.
Simon Says, "Go to Your Corner" Award-----------------------------------------------------

~
dudettedipstickI hate the scent of
Flowers in the evening
Throw stink bombs on them
The Alternative to Axe Cologne Award-----------------------------------------------------
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LurkerNothingmoreEven skunks like food.
My granny doesn't wear shoes.
Third random sentence.
Randomness MEEP Award-----------------------------------------------------
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LissyFishyFuzzy sweaterz kill.
Life iz as cold as ice-cream.
Got raped by Elmo.
I Love to Sponsor Tickle-Me Elmos-----------------------------------------------------
~
foxx89i suck at writing
especially a haiku
oh well man fuck it
Didn't Quite Cut it Award-----------------------------------------------------

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nekonezumeI can has it? The
moste deelishus cheezburger.
Mrow mrow purr purr purr.
Rosie O'Donnell Award-----------------------------------------------------

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KitaniRairakkuYou jumble my spork.
And in defense I touch you.
Oh, my tralala~
How Gunther Molested Me Award-----------------------------------------------------
Devious Comments
Nothing personal;
If you can't swallow your pride
Why should I succumb
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News Feed: I start college on Aug. 20th, go me!!! 1600hrs to go before I get my A+ certification...and become a qualified technician..!
Wrong thumbnail for :devdudettelipstick: deviation. Correct one is [link]
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News Feed: I start college on Aug. 20th, go me!!! 1600hrs to go before I get my A+ certification...and become a qualified technician..!
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Read My Poetry? Please?
My Poetry Gallery: [link]
My Most Faved Poem: [link]
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Submit your poems here: Clearfield Review!
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News Feed: I start college on Aug. 20th, go me!!! 1600hrs to go before I get my A+ certification...and become a qualified technician..!
Disclaimer: No hamsters were harmed in the writing of my horrible haiku.
That second place one... my God... totally deserved it. xD
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Brain tingles ftw
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Brain tingles ftw
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