Welcome to the NEW Forum Newsletter! Seeing as how this is the third edition of the new series, here's hoping you know what's going down with it.

If not, go lurk moar.

Go on.

Scat!

...


Now, for those of you who've returned from lurking: The Forum Newsletter is a monthly release, chronicling the goings-down of the forums.




The Forum News

SUPER SECRET: V6 "Sleek" for Beta Testers
Beta testers excitedly rush to try out the super secret version six! This new "sleek" version, while currently in beta testing and only available for the beta testers, is due to be released soon.

What are you non-beta testers missing?

Oh, trust me, a lot.

We're talking, once again, about rounded edges, which is apparently THE GOLD OF THE INTERWEBS.




!Unch commits eSuicide!
For the full scoop, see the Bannings section.


~Markokphotography is suspended!
Oh, but indeed, for linking to some porn found on YouTube, ~Markokphotography is said to be suspended for a while. However, like most of his antics, nobody truly cares. ~Markokphotography is said to have also been previously banned, but it was revoked. Rumor now is that he is also suspension/ban-evading with another account, which has since been banned for such reasons.


PORNZ, PORNZ EVERYWHERE!
Our darling and daring correspondent =cassiedj reports to use live from the Complaints forum: There's an unsafe level of porn complaints in the airways! 19 dead-horse/panda/duck porn complaints this month alone, and she may have lost count. By the time you're reading this, you can surely expect to see moar, moar, moar.

MCR Flame Wars!
We've been tipped off by @VernonX9000 that some hefty flame wars have been revolving around the band My Chemical Romance, who are known for being quite the whiny emos, unless of course you're on the other side of the flame war, in which case, THEY'RE LEIK TEH GREATEST HOTT3ST BAND EVUR!!111onetwothree!!

Unbanned!
~kombat-unit's permaban was reported to have been kindly removed . For more on this issue, check out these related links: [link] [link] [link]


One! One small blurb for The Count, ah ah ah!
has been showing up in various places around deviantART. What can you expect from the Count? COUNTING.

Yes! Whenever you're uncertain how many stupid posts there are, he's your main man! To see The Count in his magnificent number magic, check out these related links: [link] [link] [link] [link] [link]


What really happened to `conorschild delicious muffins?
As promised in the April 2008 edition of The Forum Newsletter, we're proud to bring to you what really happened to `conorschild delicious blueberry muffins! Yes, that's right, you the deviant get to see here why `conorschild stopped writing the Forum Newsletter the first results when one searches "blueberry muffins" on deviantART's search engine!

Shall we begin?

_{`conorschild hasn't been very active in the forums lately, and basically didn't have the knowledge to continue and basically was molested by *starlightofdawn.}



Bannings

We lost !Anywien on May 5th of this past month. It was fairly uncertain as to why she had to go, but now it seems definite that her banning was due to linking to ED's "Offended" page. One thing is for sure: We will all miss Buddy Christ. I'd STILL hit it.

!Unch's banning was a shocking suicide! Rumors are escaping that !Unch was hacked. !Unch became an hero by making a thread entitled "Unch's Fabulous Going Away Party" and linking multiple links to porn.

!Markok765 doesn't deserve much of an explanation. To put it simple, ~Markokphotography was ban-evading via this account.

!beavisandbutthead123 was one of our more pathetic trolls, the equivalent of a post-happy n00b who just won't shut up. In his last days, Mr.!Ihavearidiculouslylongusername was trolling about complaints with threads such as "why don't ugly women kill themselves?" . He will not be missed, except for one lone fangirl who has quickly become loathed by Al.
AND AL IS USUALLY GENEROUS WITH HIS LOVE.
For more on !beavisandbutthead123's groupie, see The Worst of the Forums, below, or visit her thread, "Most of the replies to beavisandbutthead123 threads".


!ShadowGamers, as it would appear, is lost once more. May 29th, 2008, !ShadowGamers passed on to the great 4chan in the sky, to join many a !s before him, including himself. He will be missed. According to SG himself, this time it was for two comments considered "unacceptable commentary". A screen capture taken by ShadowGamers also shows us, beneath the reason for his ban, "You of all people should know better."




Forum Feature
=MaliceTear!
=MaliceTear, deviant of soon-to-be three years, is an amusing Irish girl of great forum potential. Frequenting deviants, =MaliceTear is a talented conceptual artist who's contributed over 8000 posts to the forums.

MaliceTear is a kind and generous deviant, when she wants to be. Donating subscriptions and drawing delightful gift art are just two of the things she's been seen doing as of lately, such as a one-year sub to both =CraZyIvAnIII and =Insubordinance. For that costly kindness, she deserves to be recognized here.



And, of course, a personal favorite:




Memes
is popping up everywhere. "K" is the new "First Post!".
In signatures, we're seeing a lot of varients of "...In bed". Old meme is old? Well, either way, it's still amusing people endlessly.

Impressive?
No.
But, these ARE our forums.
What did you expect?




Hatemail
We'd like to take this chance to share with you The New Forum Newsletter's very first piece of hate mail!

While the last edition received over 60 +s from the community and only 4 rejections, apparently someone was made enough to send her hate in note-form!

This was probably due to her lulzy, but craptastic, thread that was linked to in the last edition:

I don't care to have my forum on there- PLEASE REMOVE IT NOW.
I'm trying to get rid of that forum.
Regards,
~Tweenie-too



Only just before the posting of this edition did we discover another bit of hatemail, this time in comment-form on the last edition of The Forum Newsletter:

Wow I never knew how many nuts lived on deviantart...honestly who has the time to care about 4 bannings in a 20 odd million users?
-~Kajuah, May 25th 2008

Verdict is still out on if this was hatemail or not, but it provided enough lulz for us.




Interview!
bohobella's interview with

Ho hum, writing the newsletter can be dull. It's always a matter of copying and pasting links, making up events that happened and exaggerating the awesome-ness of those that actually did. To make matters worse, I write up those segments in a library. The sound of the computer box has never been louder when no one's talking in a whole room of unused - but turned on - computers.

Unlike usual, that eerie computer noise is unheard of today. A new, unfamiliar noise drowns it out. The noise of someone, at the top of his lungs, shouting various variations of 'Fuck'.

I turn in the chair to see *ReallyAngry in the encyclopedia section, a look of discontent on his face. The librarians feared his red hair too much to question him or kick him out.

I look back at the newsletter, knowing this could be worked in somehow. I see the interview section is a blank. ~mangachu was too busy to do his part! Well, what better than to approach *ReallyAngry?

I greet him with a pleasant wave, he greets me by flipping me off. Oh, I think this means we're friends!

"Why are you known as ReallyAngry, dear?" I ask, ripping a pen off of one of those strings to take notes.

"One day when I was biting my toenails I realized how fucked everything in our world is...
really, do I have to list up EVERY FUCKING ASPECT of being a human!? Particularly in this day and age!?" Angry explains. As he does so, I can see his face looking just like the emoticons he so loves to use. "SO I DECIDED to go intellectual suicide and join DeviantArt, of all fucking places(!) in order to yell my message out and save the world, whoohoo!
AND THEN SEEING HOW STUPID AND INDIFFERENT PEOPLE ARE TOWARDS THE WORLD IN GENERAL THERE IS A SERIOUS LACK OF ANGRY PEOPLE WHO TAKE INITIATIVE TOWARDS RAPID AND RADICAL CHANGE!!! AND SO THAT'S WHY I CHOSE SUCH A SERIOUS NICK, NOW EVERYONE WILL UNDERSTAND I MEAN REAL BUSINESS AND NO LULZ WITH MY ANGER... HOPEFULLY..."

My hand is already running out of room to keep notes on. Onto my arm, then! "How often do we get to see your pervy side?"

Yes, I have a thing for guys with red hair. _{In before LOL GINGER}

Strangely, his expression does not change one bit. "You show me yours I'll show you mine, that's usually how it works!"

I can only blink.

"SO!? WHAT ARE YOU WAITING FOR!?!? SHOW ME YOURS SO I CAN TAKE PHOTOS AND MAKE SOME FUCKING MONEY ALREADY!!!"

"I NEED AN ADULT!" I cry, but now being associated with *ReallyAngry by all librarians, no one will rescue me. I had to topic jump, and fast! "Well, could you tell me what a really happy day would be for you?"

"First I realize I don't need sleep and that I'm not crazy, then I turn on my Holo-TV and it says all the politicians in the world killed themselves by jumping out of the same plane at once. They were all laughing and crying, the pope was also with them.
Then a group of nymphomaniacs kidnap me and plan to conduct all sorts of sordid experiments with me. I suddenly gain super-powers and blast my way out of their dirty dungeon, there is lots of funky battle-music in this scene. After leveling up from all the exp I gained from offing those sluts I go to eat breakfast. Nazis as usual.

I think to ask if he has Nazi cereal, and if so where he finds such a delightful product, but he goes on.

"Then I run to the top of mount Everest while having a seizure, seizures are fun. Up there I decide to start yelling for about 4 hours straight, I do love to yell.
All the animals of the world have gathered around me by now and we decide to have a jungle Adventure in Russia together and have drinking contests with the Russian Mafia for the lulz. I laugh my ass of when the armadillo manages to drink their boss to death," Without even pausing for a breath, he continues, "We go to the moon with the Russians to play chess and eat cheese prepared by French Italians for dinner. After all this adventuring I feel like getting some rest, and then my spleen explodes in joy as I realize I don't need sleep, so I decide to do everything I did since I woke up one more time."

Just when I thought his day was happy enough...

"The day is closing to an end and I log on to deviantart, where I discover everyone using deviantart has watched me, and every picture in my gallery and my scraps have gotten exclusive Daily Deviations, I also have an infinite amount of pageviews and favs for some reason. I nod and think to myself 'ah, just how it should be'
It's one minute until the day is over and Mother Theresa kicks down the door and shoots me in back of my head, and then my soul floats happily ever after around in the universe."

My arms and hands now coated in ink, I sit down to use my legs for notes. "You've been doing these Angry crusades, making the angry emoticon more and more popular on the Today page in a matter of hours. What inspired you?"

"I WANTED TO SEE IF I COULD SINGLE HANDEDLY MAKE THE "" EMOTE SHOW IN THE COMMUNITY MOOD TABLE!
And then I decided to call it a "Crusade" and welcome all who wanted to join me in showing the world it's not all just "Joy" and "Love" and "Wow"
YOU ASK ME AND I'D SAY THERE'S A LOT MORE TO BE ANGRY ABOUT IN THE WORLD THAN THERE IS TO BE HAPPY-LOVE-JOY ABOUT!!!"

"Has the crusade changed stuff?" I ask.

"Virtually nothing, except giving me some 2k pageviews, and pageviews are always nice if you want to project an image of being someone cool onto stupid people who think pageviews fucking matter..." Angry trails off, a frown at the thought of such pageview whores. "Record so far was 1683 angered mood counts during this last crusade, STILL 3 MILES AWAY FROM FROM FUCKING LOVE AND JOY!!
But I do believe my crusades have made the people participating more angry, and so I hope I have made DeviantArt angrier this way as well!!"

"Will we see future crusades?" I ask, now working on getting notes on my feet.

"FUCK YEAH!! We're not stopping AT LEAST until we've fucking topped Love and Joy, those fucking treacherous bastards!! They're so fake and shallow! I have little belief people are really that happy happy cute, they're just pretending to be in order to have people like them!!"

"Can we forumers help?"

"Oh, you can help alright, you can all fucking help, simply by using the "" mood as much as fucking possible during the crusades!
Since it's useless to try and affect the mood in a time-span of over 24 hours all people really need to do is blast out all their hate on that single fucking day to make the angered bar go higher.. I think the next crusade will take place some 6-7 weeks from now..."

I made sure to write this on my forehead, figuring there, I wouldn't forget my next chance to crusade angrily.

"I'm running out of skin, so one final thought! Do you even wish you could have been ReallyHappy?"

ReallyAngry gives me a strange, almost normal look, before the usual expression returns with a bang. @AAAAAAAAAAAAARRRRHHH!!! &%¤#&%¤ 5423&/(%& (%&¤&%¤"#@£€$£[{}!!!!1 FUCKING SHIT HACK BITCH COCK-SUCKERS BURNING IN HEAVEN WITH SHITHEAD RETARDS AND PIG-SLAUGHTERING ASSHAT BASTARD FUCKS!!! %¤#"&/&#¤ /%/%&# #¤"¤"!!!1"

With that, *ReallyAngry finally found his library book.




Best of the Forums!
Threads
Flat Earth "Society" by ~Era-Wars-club
Hey bitch, you think your Superman? Haha I'm fucking Superman *points to his crotch* by =apexigod
"If you don't put the toilet seat down.....SATAN'S GOING TO CHOP OFF YOUR FEET!!!!" by ~Forgive-Me-Or-Else




Comments
A really long reply to one of this month's worst threads, Kefka-itis by ~Black-Allison

Huge plz mosaic by *Prince-des-Sots

[...]My step son was crying cause I was a buck short to get him a t.v dinner and a BUM walked up and handed ME a dollar. by ~CatONineTales

sex can wait, masturbate! [...] by ~celestiadevs

I shall tea-bag on the beaches, I shall tea-bag on the landing grounds, [...] by =mngamojemo

hey your a guy right and do u have hotmail and a web cam[...] by ~sumster101

Fi fi fo fum, sounds like someone's not getting some. by =BlauerAuss

[...]which can only be true if "Kid-Tested" means "restrain small children and shove tasteless puffs of emu shit into their mouths." by ~CardBoard-LeMur

[...]Getting somebody into bed only to discover a sausage where there should be a vertical bacon-sandwich is the pinnacle of human experience! by ~mediocrepoet

EVERY TIME I LISTEN TO A SONG I ROLL A DICE AND THIS DEPENDS ON HOW I LISTEN TO IT[...] by ~Exyo

You ever sneeze while you shit? [...] by ~PaxtonMan

Everything has an asshole except for assholes[...] by *Prince-des-Sots




Plz Account


Worth a mention: Plz combos for clubs!





And let's not forget... The worst.
birth control plzz by ~MakexMexVintage
Male orgasm is a myth by ~moiaaron
Kefka-itis by ~Sephiroth7734
atheists and agnostics shouldnt go to heaven! by ~moiaaron
NOT ENOUGH PAGES IN THE COMPLAINTS FORUM >:U by *SayameRenth
vampires or demons? pffft, vampires for sure. by ~Lfive
Stereotypical deviants by ~just-like-a-berfly
Most of the replies to beavisandbutthead123 threads by ~alainvega
why don't ugly women kill themselves? by !beavisandbutthead123
Category for erections: an earnest suggestion by *WiseWanderer





CONTEST: Emotions of the Forums!

As some of you may or may not know, the emoticons we've grown oh-so attached to over the years are due to be changed soon in a great emoticon revamp. While we don't know what's to come, we think it's time we say farewell to those emoticons we grew so used to. The forums just wouldn't be the same without , and who could forget the messed up paragraphs (including this one) that always caused?

Your mission: Write a story with as many devART emoticons as you can put in there! The story must be no more than 2000 words (including emoticons), around one page is perfect.

The story should make some sense, although we all know we have some crazy deviants around here . As long as you can convince us that it's a logical story, you're good. However, the story cannot comprise completely of emoticons: Some text is mandatory.

Plz accounts do not count as emoticons!

No textwalls, kthx.

A minimum of 20 emoticons is required, but to win you have to use the most in the best way.

TO SUBMIT YOUR ENTRY: Send it in, via note, to =bohobella.
Deadline: Voting will begin July 1st, 2008. All entries must be received by June 29th, 2008.
Winners will be picked and announced AUGUST 1ST 2008!

Prizes!
All participants will be included in the July edition (Issue 4) of The Forum Newsletter.
The grand winner will be the featured artist in August, which means major pimpage of their deviations and some history on them!

More prizes to be added by next month! Subscriptions? Possibly!

Get writing!




Other stuff!
Past Forum Newsletters
A sticky created by $lolly and updated by various staff members can be found here in the Deviants forum for all your past forum newsletter needs! Relive the memories you had of a time when `conorschild was still the master behind the news, and thank the staff for being so kind as to post them!


Want to discuss the Forum Newsletter? Visit the chatroom!
If you feel the need to talk to fellow forumers about the new issues of the forum newsletter, or need a reminder as to when the next issue is out (...do you really?), we have a chatroom for you! Stop by #ForumNewsletter and gossip about our gossip.


Submit comments & threads to the Newsletter!
Spot a hilarious thread or comment?
Think it deserves spotlight?
How about nominating a fellow forumer for the monthly feature?
Send a note to =bohobella and she'll see to it! Please include links to all threads and comments if possible.


In the next issue...
All contest entries will be in, and we'll let the voting BEGIN!
Remember, send entries and votes in note-form to =bohobella. If you don't, there's a good chance you wont be accounted for!



Join the Newsletter Team
The NEW Forum Newsletter has become a group effort. Our team, with help from the community, works to create the Forum Newsletter as great as `conorschild once did.

However, having too many people would be ridiculous, which is why we've created a special rank!

Correspondents
We don't have any yet, but this is a position open to the community with an unlimited number of places: If you're a regular of the forum with a good reputation and could help our team frequently with links to excellent forumers, comments and threads, just note =bohobella to become a correspondent. Despite this role, which is just a way of including the community more, anyone and everyone is welcome to send in links to forum moments of greatness.

What's the point of having this role even though everyone else is allowed (and encouraged) to send in links? Someone in this role means that their information is trustworthy, and that they will be frequently providing us with links.

That, and you get a higher rank in the dAmn Chatroom, #ForumNewsletter!




Until next time, happy foruming.







=====
<sub>This edition brought to you by:
Editing: =bohobella, ~mangachu
Forum News: =bohobella, ~mangachu, @VernonX9000
Bannings: =bohobella, ~mangachu
Feature: =bohobella
Memes: =bohobella, ~mangachu
Interview: =bohobella, *ReallyAngry
Best/Worst of the forums: *SylverKitsune, `conorschild, =bohobella, ~Tangerine-Tickle, ~ImmortalEcstasyDream, =cassiedj, ~Laerbn
Hatemail: =bohobella
Contest & Other Stuff: =bohobella

We'd like to thank ALL who helped. If anyone was forgotten, much apologies, we're testing out a new organization system this month for what the community contributes, so if you were left out, we promise it will not happen again!

Just remember: The best way to make sure you get the credit you deserve for what you send in is to note =bohobella with whatever you have to say. If not, your username will likely be lost by the time the newsletter is ready to type up the month's credits.



So please, when you come to bitch, bitch to the right person.</sub>