Welcome to the NEW Forum Newsletter, issue four! It's hard to believe we've come thus far. We'd like to take this time to thank the coffee, tea, and boobies, plz.



Because sometimes, it's all you have to keep you going. And really, what's more inspirational?

VS.

The battle commences! Stay tuned next issue to find the winner!

<sub>Or, alternately, go to Google Battle.

boobies 9,430,000
dead horse 4,210,000
Total Pages Searched: 13,640,000
GoogleBattle winner is... boobies</sub>

This mini-feature brought to you by =BlauerAuss




The Forum News

CamWhores Galore
When the sun comes up and the snow starts to melt, with school out for the summer of North American children everywhere, the forums always sees a big number of annoying new faces - mostly teenagers on their breaks.

A special mention should go to =MistyEyesxX, your typical MySpace camwhore. In her gallery, you'll be delighted to see such clever use of saturation and contrast. Check out the teenage angst in her eyes, and how her mouth hangs ever so opened. Slutty, you say? NO NEVARZ!!!111


*Prince-des-Sots is suspended!
We rush to *sixnight for the scoop on this shocking topic!

Re: Ai ai!
From: *sixnight
Date: June 14, 2008, 10:04:11 PM
Well, miss Bella, Princey gets naughty when he's wearing his pajamas and he sort of got carried away.

"I found a young lass in the forums whose face seemed smooth and ceramic like a toilet. I then tried to form digital crap through language so I can flush it down her. Instead, it clogged her and she got angry."

And the lady reported him and he wears suspenders for a week.

The people of the forums shouldn't worry, though. The Prince wears his striped adult onesies and feels even more villainous than before! So all is fine and dandy.

Now, we are pleased to say, *Prince-des-Sots has returned and settled back in quite comfortably.

Why oh why was our fair Prince taken?: [link]


Necrophilia
Apparently, the forumers of deviantART haven't been getting any and feel they, therefor, need to take it up with the dead.

Amazingly old posts have been seen necro'd this past month. Most notably, there was the instance of this 3-year-old post, having been made September 19, 2005: [link]

What revived this long-dead topic?

I wonder who is to judge what is art and what not? Ever seen the stuff in the museum of modern art? A plain white wall was labeled there as art too. And besides, imagine that somebody just dislikes you and delete your art, which happens all to soon. And Animexx is really NOT an expert of art, they are very one-track minded too, which is in their right as an community. Would it not be better for you as an serious artist to help people whose art is of lesser quality instead of just demanding to delete them? There is plenty of great stuff on DA, if you wanted to see only the best, why not browse through the daily devitation? It is not that hard to avoid the stuff you do not want to see.
-*FatalFrameFotography, June 14th 2008.


Mangachu fails at Life, the boardgame edition

~mangachu, it should be known, has been proven incapable of ever doing his tasks for this newsletter.


Poetically Deviant

This month we've got a ton of last minute tip-offs from various deviants about the goings on of the forums. One day before posting time, a message from ~Undistilled came in that we just had to bring up.

We present to you now, Poetically Deviant by *AJGlass/~Undistilled




Vegetarians: They eat Vegetables
We've certainly had to deal a lot with vegetarian complaints this last month. Ridiculously so. The source of this hatred towards vegetarians and vegans is currently unknown. We believe it has to do with their not eating meat.

You heard it here first, that's right: Vegetarians don't eat meat.

Subtext is lame.
Many a complaints have centered around the annoying habits of those who type entirely in subtext. There's even been some people new to the forums that type entirely in bold We've come to the conclusion that the best effort against these sub-text heads is to simply do as one ~Laerbn does:

"*squint*"

For that is the only response they deserve.
Most notably of the regular offenders of the subscript abuse would be ~lianasoldout, who's become much hated for both attitude and the pain on the eyes. She's even created a second account (~pasdecheval) and posted with it on occasion, making fun of herself in it, only to have that go to ruins when people discovered it was her. To view said thread, check out The Worst of the Forums.




Bannings

There was a major party the day Markok was banned. We're still celebrating to this day. It's almost sad to see his pathetic attempts to still be a part of the community via the very little action he can do with his banned account.

Sadly, we all know that it's only a matter of time (and it's probably already begun) until he creates a ban-evading account and continues to troll about the forums.

This plz was !Markokphotography, who was apparently mocking a little girl he taunts in real life. Low, Marko, low. It is believed that this is, in part, why !Markokphotography was banned.

!kill-women was one of a series of troll accounts with offensive names, and believed to be the last of the batch to be banned. Good riddance, we say, though really- It's not that offensive when you know it's just a big joke aiming to piss people off. Don't feed the trolls, folks.




Forum Feature
=CapnGarrett!
=CapnGarrett can be seen throughout the forums, most notably in Complaints, but we'd like to take the time to recognize him for his art.

When one spends time in Complaints, one will quickly discover the coldness many give fan art. =CapnGarrett's gallery is full of fan art, but before you get excited, no, Spongebob and Patrick aren't in furry suits yiffing the night away.

=CapnGarrett is the perfect example of a talented artist doing quality fan art. If ever in a debate over the artistic merits of fan art, his gallery is definitely worth a mention. This isn't what makes your eyes bleed, people. No bright colours or sexual positions here, but instead, art.

Here's just a few of some personal favorites of his gallery:






Memes
Everyone's jumped on the bandwagon when it comes to the "...in bed" signature meme, with each to his own slight variation on it.

Otherwise, the Condom Army, sparked by , is spotted around. Many deviants are proudly supporting condom avatars to "promote safe sex". However, a recent poll taken in #dATribes shows that most people think "lolcondom" at the sight. It really doesn't change anyone's motives those hazy, drunk nights in the back alleyways with =BlauerAuss...

This meme is actually quite annoying when you consider most people tell forumers apart by their avatars.




Hatemail
We here have decided to make Hatemail a regular part of the newsletter. True say, we don't get much, but what we do get- There's no reason to be ashamed of!

"Ok... my thread is death as i stopped replying those people, but thanks for your effort ^^

May i ask why you're trying to piss me, referring to me as "her"?

Im not ashamed of my gender unlike you."
-~alainvega, June 2nd 2008

"So now it's mature to be immature? That's not even about the forum!"
-~Tweenie-too, June 6th 2008.




Interview!
bohobella's interview with

As I'm sure every forumer does, I was sitting down to write an essay about the seasons. Winter, fall, summer, spring... They all seem to have an effect on the forums, and I had to make a note of it.

However, my time on deviantART, while long, hasn't been nearly as long as the forums. I've only had the chance to see each pass once, but there has been some who've passed through each plenty of times.

Sitting in the McCafe, still contemplating over a greasy hamburger or an equally greasy muffin, I see a familiar face. Well, less a familiar face and more due to the shirt that said "Oh Hi, I'm @VernonX9000".

Well, we had to be informed somehow.

Screw Egg McMuffins and Big Macs, I chased after Vernon - though admittedly, not a long chase, he wasn't so far away and I was in a small McDonald's - to ask him the questions that had been aimed for the next random deviant I found.

"Vernon, Vernon! Let's talk about deviantart!" I insist, getting quite up in his personal space before he can get the chance to avoid me. "Do you think the people of the forums change as the seasons pass?"

Vernon hesitantly put his McNuggets down. "Absolutely. I've only been around a little over 3 years and the only only people I can think of who posted a lot then and STILL post a lot would be `MurkHellsing, `FixMeKnow, and *manic-cure."

I wrote down everything on napkins. You too should always carry plenty of napkins in the event such opportunity arises.

"I mean, there are PLENTY of others that consistently post and who always seem to be around, folks like =Gordorca, *TheHollister, *S-Que, ~Jimcus, =Unibomber703 ...shit, I gotta stop naming names or else I'm gonna start leaving people out and they'll tell me how much of a jerkfayse I really am... and many others, but you also get a bunch of new folks too," Vernon explained, "And the new folks are often the type that just hop in and are all over the place, racking up a ton of postcounts, most of them pointless and filled with emoticons, and then all of a sudden they just disappear."

I nodded. "What about summer on the forums? Is that really when the silly threads are started?"

"Yep. Though there's always gonna be crap and retardation here. But it does seem to spike in the summertime. The worst was on 06/06/06 when a TON of different 666 threads popped up."

"What with this mass of bad posts, what's the funniest thing you've seen recently?"

"Well, I've been pretty busy lately - more than usual - so I can't say I can think of anything in particular. Though actually I did see some argument between =Insubordinance and someone else ( [link] ). Flame wars are pretty funny. I try to avoid them but have been in a couple of 'em recently. The last one was pretty ridiculous too with some kid telling me I was stalking him... which is funny 'cuz now I can't even remember his name."

I made sure to get every word down. Never know when you'll need this kind of stuff. "So, are the forums a lot of work for you?"

"A little, but I try not to treat it that way. I'm still the same guy I was the first two years I was here, only now I've got a little thread-lock-thingy if something doesn't belong," Vernon explained as he reached into his pocket, pulling out a flyer with an ad of some sort, "The only thing is that I don't have as much spare time to spend on dA as I used to. The majority of my time goes to working on my comic book: The Adventures Of Dexter Breakfast [link] (*end shameless plug*) but I certainly try to get on here and have some fun whenever I can."

I took the flyer, for it had pretty colours. "Now, Vernon, what's better - dAmn or the forums?"

"Forums, definitely. I like being able to go back and read things from a few years ago. I stumble into dAmn every now and then - usually when drunk - but that's pretty rare (the being in dAmn, not the being drunk part). I'm probably the only @ that's forums-only. Fiona ($chix0r) was cool with it when I joined up and Pete ($Tachy-on) seems fine with it too, so I'll be around for a little while to get some more hate mail."

I recalled the forum overhaul everyone's heard about, but nobody knows of. "Can you tell us ANYTHING about the upcoming changes to our beloved forums?"

"Nope. Mainly 'cuz I'm out pretty out of the loop (see "busy" above), but also I'd have to keep it pretty hush-hush if I did know (super-secret admin conspiracies and all)"

Running low on napkins and my McMuffin calling to me, it was time to wrap up. "How do you feel about things the community does... Like this newsletter?"

"Awesome. Thumbsup all the way. I loved `conorschild's newsletter and your version is pretty damn good too. I was a bit apprehensive after seeing the first one but you've definitely improved. Community projects in general are always pretty fun - both to participate in and see others do them. So to you, and everyone reading this, KEEP 'EM COMING!"

With that, I finally allowed @VernonX9000 to purchase his meal, but not before some other people chased after him. I left then and began to type away at my laptop, with the music of angry emo teenagers with locked threads in the background.

Best of the Forums!
Threads
The DUMBEST thing anyone has ever said to you personally by ~chrisjt
Evil Furries! D: by =Navagon
"I hate fags!" by =ftpaddict
"Don't sniff it! What's wrong with you!?" by =elvensecrecy
"WHY somebody always around every time I drop my baby?!" by =SylverKitsune




Comments

That's like going into the Russian woods with a bucket of salmon hanging around your neck and being surprised to find bears. by ~Exyo

Shawty money shawty money shawty ass shawty ass shawty money shawty money WOOHUUU nigga crime! [...] by *Prince-des-Sots
TROLL Poem by ~G00ders

[...] Either what's gone on here is poor little Liana wasn't getting enough attention for her liking, so created a sock puppet and bashed herself, or she really does have some sort of multiple personality disorder that makes her a special little snowflake. by ~retardXcore

Why the fuck are you shaving armpits and ballsacks? by =PaulStrealer

we all know how it's going to turn out; people bitch, they're miserable no matter what, wah-wah-wah, give me my fucking ba-ba, Jay Leno makes a few jokes, and in the end Humanity Loses and then someone farts. [...] by ~sbkMulletMan

Point is: An animal is like a person. It can pop a cap up your foo' ass and your mama's too. by ~Black-Allison

Quotes from the linked Time article [...] by *AJGlass

There's nothin' to it! Anyone can do it!
If you wanna, REALLY wanna, bitch a lot in our Complaints[...] by =SylverKitsune

You uncle killed your dad and you ran around in the woods naked eating bugs until puberty? by =WarthogDemon

MAN HAS VISITED THE MOON?! by `summaro

Can the chainsaw be used for at-home abortions? by =bohobella

[...]'If you're going paddling i hope you put your wellies on'[...]
by =CapnGarrett

Pros: Me drawing a giant penis on it.
Cons: Someone deleting it.
by =chrisbucks

Prostitutes have found a way of getting protein through the course of a working day.
by =Doomsday-device

Bada ba da bap bop bing. Doo doo doo do do do do doodoo doodoo doo do do do do do. Da da da da dadada dabitty bapitty bomk. Biddy baddy bopidopledinkle bidi badi bop bop bop bing! Bidi badi bopi banglebippy bop bop bop.
by ~phreakhawk-14

I can bleed for six days straight and not die.
by ~Amberhawk

Carmel nut fudge titty twisters on a dapple drawn day, forever in the morn, a severed eagle speaks lies. by =Vynnx

LIEUTENANT DAN, YouS IS DRESSED AS A FOX by ~nickshearon





Plz Account
It's definitely not




And let's not forget... The worst.
MY BOYFRIEND IS A JERK! >.< by ~angelhatsukichansama
My cheating, insensitive boyfriend dumped me today. by ~Kattykitkat
Expand Gender Options. by ~xblacklungsx
[...] I'd take watching the Teletubbies over reading Shakespeare anyday. [...] by ~hellshallbemine
I have a deep loathing for you, emo fucktards in Rosny Park by ~pasdecheval/~lianasoldout




AdSpace!

Got a new club? New contest? Need people to join?

<sub>Send your ads in to the Forum Newsletter! Yes, that's right. If you'd like to advertise your up and coming events, send what you'd like to show to =bohobella. Every up-and-coming edition of The Forum Newsletter will contain one to five of the best advertisements sent in.

Rules: Max. 250 words per ad, max. 3 icons, max. 8 emoticons.

Get advertisin'!</sub>

Art Battle Club!
Hey there! ~mangachu and ~ImmortalEcstasyDream here, promoting our new club, =Artbattleclub! This club centers around fighting it out to see who's art or writing is better. The competitors are given a topic, voted upon by the people. Then they make their pieces and we post them on the club anonymously. The aforementioned people vote on which piece they think is best. Remember, it's all anonymous, so there's no popularity or favoritism here.

We'll probably host several battles at once, so we'd like to invite anyone who wants to join to watch us. We've already done a round, so check it out! Oh, and we're going to beg for a sub and an avatar.




Other stuff!
Past Forum Newsletters
A sticky created by $lolly and updated by various staff members can be found here in the Deviants forum for all your past forum newsletter needs! Relive the memories you had of a time when `conorschild was still the master behind the news, and thank the staff for being so kind as to post them!


Want to discuss the Forum Newsletter? Visit the chatroom!
If you feel the need to talk to fellow forumers about the new issues of the forum newsletter, or need a reminder as to when the next issue is out (...do you really?), we have a chatroom for you! Stop by #ForumNewsletter and gossip about our gossip.


Submit comments & threads to the Newsletter!
Spot a hilarious thread or comment?
Think it deserves spotlight?
How about nominating a fellow forumer for the monthly feature?
Send a note to =bohobella and she'll see to it! Please include links to all threads and comments if possible.


In the next issue...
We're just praying the summertime blues won't get the better of our forumers. Can you say an hero?



Join the Newsletter Team
The NEW Forum Newsletter has become a group effort. Our team, with help from the community, works to create the Forum Newsletter as great as `conorschild once did.

However, having too many people would be ridiculous, which is why we've created a special rank!

Correspondents
This is a position open to the community with an unlimited number of places: If you're a regular of the forum with a good reputation and could help our team frequently with links to excellent forumers, comments and threads, just note =bohobella to become a correspondent. Despite this role, which is just a way of including the community more, anyone and everyone is welcome to send in links to forum moments of greatness.

What's the point of having this role even though everyone else is allowed (and encouraged) to send in links? Someone in this role means that their information is trustworthy, and that they will be frequently providing us with links.

We've got plenty so far, but we're always looking for more who want a part in this!


That, and you get a higher rank in the dAmn Chatroom, #ForumNewsletter!




Until next time, happy foruming.







=====
<sub>This edition brought to you by:
Editing: =bohobella
Forum News: =bohobella, =BlauerAuss, *sixnight, *Prince-des-Sots
Bannings: =bohobella
Feature: =MaliceTear, =bohobella
Memes: =bohobella
Interview: =bohobella, @VernonX9000
Best/Worst of the forums: =bohobella & CORRESPONDENTS
Hatemail: =bohobella
Other Stuff: =bohobella

We'd like to thank ALL who helped!

Just remember: The best way to make sure you get the credit you deserve for what you send in is to note =bohobella with whatever you have to say. If not, your username will likely be lost by the time the newsletter is ready to type up the month's credits.

Much thanks to =cassiedj for immense help with links, by far the most sent in



So please, when you come to bitch, bitch to the right person.</sub>