Welcome to the NEW Forum Newsletter, issue five! Now written by =bohobella, the mother of `conorschild's baby. It's a good thing you showed up for this one, July has been a big month for us. What with counterthreads left and right to the ever exciting release of V6 and the bugs that followed, July has a lot to talk about.

Now, in traditional Forum Newsletter fashion, let's get right onto the news using major linkage to paint a pretty picture!




The Forum News

SLEEK
Yes, damn straight! That long awaited release is here! V6 is here for everyone, complete with the new much-talked-of message center!

What does our community have to say about this? A breakdown by user:

Non-Subscriber: THE NEW MESSAGE CENTER IS AMAZING! But slow.
Subscriber: WHAT THE HELL, EVERYONE GETS THE SAME MESSAGE CENTER?!
Staff: I am so cool.

So, yes, the old subscriber feature of seeing your comments from your message center is now for everyone, as is seeing thumbs from your message center. For a short while other subscriber-only features were usable by the public, but since has been fixed.

On the plus side, this brought about Complaints one and only sticky. Sadly it was short lived, but much needed.

However, by the time you'll read this, everyone will have adapted to the new V6 and be ready to cry if and when V7 is released.





NO REPLIES FOR YOU!
This was a bug to follow V6 shortly after its' release. Replies just... Stopped. Comments and such went through, but any replies, forum or comment-wise, did not display in the message center, leading to a very dull forum time that lasted for about two days.

Yours truly grew incredibly bored at the sudden decline in replies. Going from 50 replies per log-in down to 0, always hoping for more, can drive one batty.

When the replies finally returned, all replies from the period of time that this glitch took place were lost. It can be argued if this was a good thing or not: Everyone would have certainly been flooded if not.




Happy Birthday Happy Birthday...
A reminder to everyone who is currently living under a rock: As of today, AUGUST 1ST, deviantART's birthday is six days away.

Can't say we didn't warn you when you show up without a present and Hallmark card.

More coverage on the events to surround deviantART's fabulous eighth birthday in the next issue!




Wedding Bells!
The forum saw an epic marriage between and . The wedding, held in Complaints, was performed by and had a long guest list as well as quite a few party crashers.

To tell us more about this love story, we hunted down =SylverKitsune on her honeymoon. Noticing =elvensecrecy wasn't around, it was time to ask the best of questions.

"How'd you meet her?"

=SylverKitsune quickly got out of bed, not even thinking to question who let me in. "Ahh, my drama-sprinkled love-muffin! We met in Complaints, most romantic of forums - she was complaining about the ignorance of the general public pertaining to David Bowie and Queen. She reciprocated with sparkling joy and passion, and a LOVE OF THE CENTURY WAS BORN!"

"How beautiful," I smiled. She seemed content enough to let me continue to drill her. "I heard quite a bit about pickles. What's your stance on them?"

"Pickles are our FRIENDS! Our transmogrified FRIENDS. They are the only TRANSFORMATIVE SQUASH, emerging changed and divine from the Brine of Doom and therefore CLEARLY represent Jesus Christ, and should be treated as Holy Squash. I believe there should be an :iconholysquashplz: !!11one In my honor! WITH a virgin sacrifice! ... Any volunteers? No? Oh, Okay, virginity optional. "

With such lengthy answers, I ended up stealing one of the hotel notepads to jot it all down. "Was the wedding everything you ever dreamed it would be?"

She lit up. "YES! YES! A THOUSAND TIMES, YES! ~frankwtfplz presided with the Sweetest of Transvestite Reverand-ing, my dear Victoria made a beauteous soundtrack to accompany, and many of our friends and acquaintances were in attendance - and more than a few CRASHED IT DRUNKENLY, ~mangachu even holding `Prince-Charles for wedding-cake ransom, and later executing him when not enough cake was forthcoming. He later wrote an epic poem on the subject, and Charles was apparently resurrected."

Once she calmed down, she continued. "Again, like Jesus. And pickles. There should be an :iconholycharlesplz:."

"We've seen some recent drama," I pointed out, looking through journal pages that were scattered about, "What's going on?"

"It has come to my attention that my dearest Pickle-Breath has - has - TAKEN ANOTHER SPOUSE! She's apparently married - I cannot even say it - my dear friend =bohobella, shortly after being wed to me! I simply don't know what I should do! Carry on in shame? Take another lover? ... More of them, I mean? -I MEAN- OH SHI-

After taking a quick sprint around the room, =SylverKitsune finally sat down again. Much calmer.

"You filing for divorce, dear?" I ask.

"Not at the moment - at least, it shan't come from MY end! As long as we can have equal harems, I believe an arrangement can be worked out."

Now done with my questions, I figured it was time to treat myself to a snack. I took an unsuspecting pickle out of a questionable nearby dollhouse. It was quite nice, rather crunchy, and most of all bigger, longer and uncut compared to all the other pickles.

"Pickles are the JESUS-SQUASH!" =SylverKitsune exclaimed, "To eat such a benevolent fruit-vegetable hybrid/technically-fruit THING would be a GRAVE INJUSTICE! They shall not be treated as EQUALS, but DEITIES. And I and =elvensecrecy are their adjuncts, and avatars to this mortal plane. Except without the stupid arrows on our heads and silly pairing disputes..."

Realizing what I'd done by biting into the delicious pickle, I took my chance then to run off. With pickle in hand, of course.





Watch out for the elderly and their wheelchairs!
There's been a +`senior invasion on the forums as of recently. Many familiar faces, including quite a few that we've had the fortune to talk to for the newsletter, are now senior members.

A few notable new seniors would be `Prince-Charles, `manic-cure, `Prince-des-Sots, `Vlei, `MegMcMuffin, `Navagon, `Faerie-Princess-Ami, `votemark, `DarkApple, `Spoolaroo, `littlefishey and many, many more.




A Conspiracy: Mysterious Plz Deaths
is just one of quite a few dying plz accounts we've seen recently. We're not entirely sure what's going on yet, but keep it in mind. Remember to never forget the Plzocaust that took the lives of so many. May it never happen again.




How cool is =BlauerAuss
Before you die on your deathbed not knowing the exact level of cool that is =BlauerAuss, be sure to check out this deviation. You'll be able to die with 10% more pleasure.






Bannings

While this month's bannings not nearly as epic as the last (what with Marko's ban), we still had a few. !lior1225, for one, was a simple spammer set to scam deviants.


The most tragic of losses we've had to face, !blankspaceplz is no more. Famous for his ever-sexy transparency, now we'll have to switch over to one of the many other transparent plz accounts. This banning will render many a mosaics looking rather silly, as we'll be seeing in the days to come on older posts.


A sample of !copshootcoke's literature can be found here: [link] .


Not a popular deviant, !Sk8board's ban was ironic due to his last forum posts having been in his thread [link] . It is believed his banning was caused by too many postings of [link] on userpages.




Forum Feature
`nokari!
`nokari is a long-time deviant everyone is sure to have seen around the forums at some point or another. With his over 20k forum posts and avatar forever matching =NoodleDoodler's, what's not to love?

But if you'd actually take the time to visit his gallery, one would see another side to the forum regular. Not only does he have beautiful work of his own, but plenty of resources for deviantART users to benefit from. From CS2 Icons to full-blown DD-winning tutorials, `nokari's gallery is a work of helpful art.

Now for the usual ever-small sample of such big talent...




In addition to said pieces, in honour of Batman, check out his series of avatars:





Memes
We can still see obscure versions of the "...in bed" signature meme, but now even odder. More and more do we see "...in my toaster" and other utterly random endings. However, now that in V6 you don't see signatures in the message center, they provide a 50% decrease of lulz.

The Condom Army, by , is dying a pityful death. With even it's leader having changed her avatar, it was never meant to be.

A new avatar meme, bigger and badder, is in store for us now: `Navagon's hypercubes, also known as "those cube things", "spinny box" or tesseracts. For the full scoop, check out the exclusive New Forum Newsletter interview with `Navagon below.

With the tesseract avatars, telling people apart is slightly easier, since many such as @VernonX9000, =MaliceTear, etcetera, have incorporated a bit of their old 'tar into the meme.

And don't forget Mr. Sniggles!
Mr. Sniggles, =Larentia-Ariadne's ferret seen here: [link] should be frequently mentioned in the forums, for the lulz, as demonstrated in the following: [link]




Interview!
bohobella's interview with

Browsing the tesseract toy shop with my notebook in hand, I had much bigger plans than all the other kids. While was using his as a wombat toy, I was all too focused on meeting the owner of the little shoppe.

When I saw him, I was trilled. He wasn't hard to miss, walking tesseracts stick out of the crowd. I had to do it.

"`Navagon! `Navagon! Got a second? I was wondering how long you've been foruming!"

`Navagon did have a second, and pulled up a chair to sit down. Do not question me as to how tesseracts sit down - it is a divine question I cannot answer. "I’ve been foruming since September ’05. I was known as ~FEDasDUCK. Don't ask... Things were a lot different. When I joined there was no forum moderation at all. Sex threads were rife. As were the kinds of trolls we haven’t seen the caliber of since. Even $lolly wants to see old ~calmius back. Hence why he was unbanned."

Who ever said tesseracts had bad memory? `Navagon had more to share. "Threads that wouldn’t last a minute now were open for weeks. Then by the end of the year the admins launched a load of untrained volunteer mods with their own little volunteer mod ban hammers. Public executions were rife. The forums ran red with the blood of the fallen. Those were dark days. But they were over almost as soon as they began. Soon those mods were themselves executed and replaced with `mooboy, `cei-, `dxd and a few others who were more familiar with the way things worked. They kept things ticking over until the @ entered the scene and things became more like what we’re used to now."

"You're a senior," I pointed out, "But your account is pretty new."

"I switched to this account in February last year due to the clusterfuck of gallery bugs that were around at the time putting paid to my whole gallery. I was hit hard when my sub ran out due to their “you need to buy a sub to see the minimum number of deviations” bug. That was the final nail in the coffin. I needed a fresh start, so, rather than leave for good, this became my main account."

"You're starting to show your age!" I pointed out the lovely ` that `Navagon was sporting in front of his name tag. "...Why are you such an old fart around here?"

"Most likely my forum presence since that’s all I’ve really been here for since the account switch. I used to do a fair bit more constructive criticism but I doubt that had any affect on their decision now."

"We all recognize you," I said, pointed to his tesseract form, "But what ARE those shapes?"

"They’re tesseracts. Otherwise known as hypercubes. To save boring the arse off of people, here's a link for those who're interested: [link] " he explained. Quickly, to wikipedia!

"How did you come by them?" I inquired.

"It could have been the Dali’s Christ on a hypercube or the Cube films which first introduced me to them. I got my default blue one from Wikipedia."

"How did they become such a huge fad?" I asked, pointing to a few of the deviants in the store carrying their own personalized tesseract.

"There are probably a few reasons for this: One, tesseracts are bloody cool. This is undeniable. Even purely from an aesthetic standpoint, they’re hard to resist. Two, Unlike the condom army and similar trends, I didn’t promote any kind of agenda with it. They’re just free personalized avatars for anyone who wants one. You can’t say fairer than that. Or, three, My recent seniority. I was getting a buttload more traffic (ten times as much) and I’ve had the idea of a tesseract avatar trend for a while. But it was obvious I wasn’t going to get far with it while I was still about as popular as a communist at an OPEC board meeting. So this seemed like the ideal opportunity to capitalize on my 15 minutes and launch it."

"Speaking of which, do you approve of the latest batch of seniors we've just be astonished by? `Vlei, `Prince-des-Sots and such?" I asked. The tesseract man in front of me shrugged.

"I think that the one that surprised me most was my own. I would have thought that, given my openly expressed negative views of various decisions made by the staff over the years I would be more likely to pick up an ! than a `. People have been banned for less. There have been several points where I’ve thought that a ! was incoming, so I guess it’s a good thing that I’ve gone as unnoticed as I have until now."

"Thanks `Navagon," I smiled. My notebook was as full as it could get, "...Want a baked potato for your troubles?"

"Of course!"






Best of the Forums!
Threads
TIRED OF TRYING TO DECIDE WHICH NIGERIAN BANK TO GET YOUR MILLIONS FROM? by =lila89
I HATE THINGS THAT SUCK!!! by *ReallyAngry
No, I don't want to see your glass dildo. by ~Kyotama
The Haiku Thread by @kamizu
Sylver's Slimy Pickle by =elvensecrecy
My slimy pickle smells of the sweetest flowers! And I'M SMART, DAMMIT! by =SylverKitsune
they mock in my country by ~Terschen
Uh oh, diarrhea! What do you do with your shit-stained undies?! by =bohobella
Signature? by ~SigneRobertson
I am in love/jealous of my own character. by ~Zurite
4th Deviantart Political Forum Election: Voting Thread by ~thisbusinessofart
No biz like showbiz! by =brittanysaysmoo







Comments
[...] WE DONT NEED NO WATER LET THE POKEMANS BURN, BURN MOTHER FUCKER BURN [...] by ~Fire-Flight
PLZ HELP ME ON MY VAGINA! IVE BIN WORKING ON IT SINCE PUBERTY!!![...] by *AJGlass
Reply to them with this if you want. I made it less racist and added pomp[...] by `Prince-des-Sots
Maybe people should stop putting condoms in their hair and start putting them on their penises. by =mngamojemo
Arabic letters look like a chicken stepped in an ink puddle and then did a seizure dance on some random paper. [...] by ~Amberhawk
[...]"All the girls wanna play with my Wii."[...] by ~A-S-m-i-t-h
Plz Combo Win by =zaiger420
My god! That is one Stringy-Dingy! [...] by ~sbkMulletMan
You just made me imagine Stephen King wearing crotchless panties. I hate you now. by ~TheDiseasedOne
It was the day after going to the club that God found herself alone in their room[...] by ~Iscariot-Priest
Our old cat used to pee in the burners of the stove[...] by ~Mo-Goei-Hai-Tzu
Fergalicious, cartilaginous makes them boys go loco. by =me-pawel
[...]Did you get raped by a broom handle?
Did you enjoy it? by ~Synical-Tranquility
Should I give another long-winded revenge plan to get back at your sister? [...] by ~A-S-m-i-t-h
The best advice ever given in HWL by =Aqu4
Kickass use of FAQ #801 by ~Black-Allison




Plz Account





Off-Site Link
Banana Guard




AdSpace!

Got a new club? New contest? Need people to join?

_{Send your ads in to the Forum Newsletter! Yes, that's right. If you'd like to advertise your up and coming events, send what you'd like to show to =bohobella.
Rules: Max. 250 words per ad, max. 3 icons, 8 emoticons, 1 thumb.}


Eyepatch 4 Charles
`Prince-Charles needs an eyepatch. Seriouslah. Spread the word: We cannot rest until it comes the truth, so head on over to and let your voices be heard. Whether it's making a button, doodling a picture, or simply aiding =elvensecrecy in the forums by posting the new plz account whenever you see Charles posting, the cause must be helped. Don't forget the stamp, bitches:





Other stuff!
Past Forum Newsletters
A sticky created by $lolly and updated by various staff members can be found here in the Deviants forum for all your past forum newsletter needs! Relive the memories you had of a time when `conorschild was still the master behind the news, and thank the staff for being so kind as to post them!




Submit comments & threads to the Newsletter!
Spot a hilarious thread or comment?
Think it deserves spotlight?
How about nominating a fellow forumer for the monthly feature?
Send a note to =bohobella and she'll see to it! Please include links to all threads and comments if possible.

When submitting threads or comments the best way, though not manditory, is as followed:

To: =bohobella
Subject: [Thread] OR [Comment]
Body: [link] to the thread or comment in question.
*username of the user who created it.
[Title] of the thread, or "Quote" from the comment that you think should be included.






THE FORUM AWARDS GALA
3 Months remaining until nominations for the 1st Annual Forum Awards Gala will be taken in!

Keep in mind that in NOVEMBER 2008, it'll be time to nominate users for awards similar to The Forum Newsletter Awards of 2007, with awards such as Best Thread and Comment of the Year, best avatar, best plz, and Forumer of the Year!

And in DECEMBER 2008... That's when the pressure is on and all you forumers will be called upon to CAST YOUR VOTES out of the nominations!





In the next issue...
The summer is coming to a close, and we expect that those school kids will leave us with a bang. `Vlei has to mop up the bloodz.

Heavy coverage on deviantART's eighth birthday will also be included for your viewing pleasure







Until next time, happy foruming.