A few things I wish I'd realized when I was still young enough to benefit from them...

I think it's a pretty unavoidable fact that I am now an adult. Not even a young adult anymore... adult. I'm married, I have a career, own a house, a bought-new car, and have a young child of my own.

There are a few things I've come to understand in my 'old age' that I wish I'd realized back when I was in middle school and highschool. I think that I would have had a much easier time if I'd understood these things back then.

You see, I was totally a poster child for the socially awkward when I was younger. When I was 9 years old, my mom and I moved, so I had to start a new school, in a new city, and no friends and absolutely worthless social skills for making new ones.

Looking back it's ridiculous how stressed I was during middleschool and highschool. I was stressed over the stupidest and most meaningless things. I often wished during the last few years, that I'd taken better advantage of the freedom one has during highschool. That I could have gotten past the stupid stuff I obsessed over, and actually enjoyed that time, instead of suffering through it.

Because, seriously.. no matter how hard you think Highschool is? Real life is way harder.


Critisism.
Learn to take critisism without feeling the need to defend yourself. This one is obviously easier said then done, but if you can develop a hard enough shell, to brush off crit without letting it eat away at your inner soul for a week, you'll be more stress-free and feel less shitty.
Critisim is not always a personal attack, and does not always require a fierce defense. Sometimes, totally ignoring it will be healthier then fighting back, just to reduce the damage it does to your blood preassure.



Gossip.
Not only does it not matter what people think about you, they usually AREN'T thinking about you. They're too busy worrying about what people think of them, to bother thinking about you.
And when they do think about you, they'll usually forget about it by being distracted by something else, within a very short period of time.

If people find some stupid reason or another to gossip about you, don't let it eat you, ignore it and they'll get bored and find another topic within a week or two.

It doesn't matter. It will have no baring on your life, and highschool is seriously unimportant in your lifetime social existance.



Popularity.
You know those "popular" people in school? What makes them popular? Really. What is it? Do you know? They have friends? Doesn't every one in highschool have at least a couple friends? So why don't they come off as 'opular'?
It's really very simple. Seriously. I know EXACTLY what qualifies for this.

CONFIDENCE

Not even nessecarily REAL confidence. It's projecting the image that you're confident. That you're self assured, and not self-conscious. That you aren't worrying about what other people think (even if you really are).

These kids still worry about this stuff. They just don't show it as obviously.

Walking with your head up, shoulders back. Not looking at your feet when you walk. Not slouching over, or hiding your head.

Kids FEED off insecurity. And when you're openly insecure, it's really obvious.

Everyone in middle/highschool is worried about what other people are thinking. Even those confident, "popular" kids with a crap-ton of shallow friends. They've just learned to hide it better. The reason they seem to have so many friends is because confidence attracks people.
People all yearn to be more confident, so when they see someone who is successfully pulling it off, they're drawn to them.

Of course this is a stupid reason to be friends with someone, so these types of relationships can be shallow, unless they legitimately develop into a mutial-interest relationship.

But simply put, in the end, if you come off as confident, people will treat you like you're confident, and it you will in turn, become more confident. Body language is HUGE.

The way you dress doesn't matter nearly as much as the way your body talks.



Friends.
The easiest way to make a new friend, is to find a common interest.
In elementary school it's as simple as 'do you wanna play' and two kids run off together and play. Its much easier to make new friends when you're only 6 or 7 years old. There is so much less emphasis put on things.

Of course, this means that early-childhood friendships can easily grow apart as two individuals become interested in drastically different things.


As you get older, making new friends can become harder.

In my experience, the best way to make new friends is the common interest factor. Join a club, and you'll find people there interested in the same stuff.

Take a class on something you care about, and you'll find people there who also care about that subject.

My best friends through middle school & highschool were all people I met in Art Club, and people who were friends with them.

I had some great friends who I met in a Visual Basic programming class. And I met my husband in 8th grade, in a apple LOGO programming class.

One of my best friends in highschool was a girl I met the 1st day of 10th grade in my english class. We were both wearing t-shirts for one of our favorite music bands and started chatting.

Shared Interest.




Dating.
You don't need to date.
If you so choose to, you don't have to pretend around your friends that you've put out, if you haven't. You're friends aren't going to think less of you because you AREN'T putting out with your boyfriend. That's just silly.

If you don't wanna put out, don't. If the guy will cheat on you, or break up with you, just cuz you won't put out, he's a horny asshole and you deserve better anyways.

If you do, use a condom. *after-school special moment* Just cuz the guy says he'll pull out doesn't mean that he will, OR that it will work. Most guys have pre-cum and don't even realize it, and you can get just a pregnant off pre-cum as a final ejaculation.
Getting pregnant in highchool is STUPID AND IGNORANT AND WILL FUCK UP YOUR LIFE.



Scholastics.
No matter what your school couseler says, you do not NEED to take any of those advanced placement classes to get into a good college. You do not really need to take 3-4 years of a foreign language. You do not need to take Calculus unless you're going into a career that actually needs advanced math. If you find the easiest class that fills a pre-requisite, it's still good enough. Taking Applied Biology is just as good as Biology, if you have no intension of ever exploring a career that involves biology. Oh, and Applied Psych, is just as good a credit as Psych... only the APPLIED (or whatever your school calls it) one is easier to pass.
In the end your GPA will matter more, cuz colleges tend to look at numbers. If you can take the easier class and pass with a higher grade, it will look better the getting a C in the harder class.

Take as many classes that you give a shit about as you can.
If you actually enjoy the class, it's well... it's more enjoyable. Go figure. Not only is it easier to get a good grade in a class you enjoy, it's a good opportunity to meet new friends.


What colleges actually look at:
Prerequisites filled: yes/no? GPA high enough? Can they pay?
That's it.
Oh, and FAFSA is not your only option. In fact, FAFSA will rarely provide you with even a third the amount you need. Sometimes Private Educational Loans are the best option you can get. Just be prepared to owe your soul to the bank for a good long while.