Quite possibly one of the best shows about a made-up band ever, Metalocalypse has become one of the most popular shows created by the Williams Street gang.
Not familiar with Dethklok?
Then shame on you, you sad excuse for a mortal.
But seeing as I'm feeling generous this night, I shall give you a brief summary.
First you must imagine something bigger than both Starbucks and Wal-Mart put together.
Visualize that force embodied by five people in particular--a vocalist, a lead guitarist, a rhythm guitarist, a drummer, and a bassist.
These five Gods of Metal are the seventh largest economy in the world and growing.
Now picture countries of screaming fans doing anything--committing suicide, killing each other, etc.--for one of their albums or many endorsement products.
This is Dethklok.
They are the world's largest cultural force; so large that the world is now dependent on the release of their albums.


Now that you have the gist of Metalocalypse, here are a few more facts about the band members themselves:


NATHAN EXPLOSION
The band's frontman.
Nathan Explosion is the vocalist and main songwriter for Dethklok. Nathan isn't exactly brilliant, what with his communication through grunts and using the terms "brutal" or "metal" to describe things. He is also a regular alcohol abuser, and has had several liver transplants to prove it. Regardless, you wouldn't want to mess with this guy--he's built like a full-size pickup truck and is as intimidating as the apocalypse his band is said to bring unto the world.


SKWISGAAR SKWIGELF
Lead guitarist.
Taller than a tree, this Swede is the world's fastest guitarist as well as the most well known man whore for M.I.L.F.s, G.M.I.L.F.s and soon-to-be M.I.L.F.s. Often seen arguing with the rhythm guitarist over petty things such as the correct pronunciation of "hover craft," Skwisgaar is rather vain and easily agitated over the slightest comment about his feminine looks. He always has his Gibson Explorer at hand, and has an unexplained hate for the Dutch.


TOKI WARTOOTH
Rhythm guitarist, second fastest in the world.
For being a member of the most brutal death metal band in the world, Toki is pretty much the most innocent guy you'll ever meet. Sporting a Fu Manchu mustache and a Norwegian accent, Mr. Wartooth has a child-like demeanor and an addiction to candy like that of a moth to light. Contrary to his Swedish counterpart, this Scandinavian appears asexual despite the constant bickering between the two which, as a result, has created some rather heated fanshipping of their pairing.


PICKLES
The drummer.
Pickles (the drummer) is considerably the silliest of the lot, what with his Canadian-esque accent and skullet of dreadlocks; as well as the fact that he is the only guy out of the group who doesn't wear boots. Though the entire band partakes in the abuse of numerous substances as well as alcohol, Pickles is the most notable of them all. Strangest of all is the drummer's name itself: no one knows what his real or last name is.


WILLIAM MURDERFACE
Bassist.
Self-loathing, self-mutilating, coprophilic, Civil War history buff.
Yes, that would be the Dethklok bassist.
William Murderface is the one who contributes the least to the bands efforts--he hasn't written a single song and his bass lines get mixed out of nearly every song. Often described as a dogface, Murderface has a heavy lateral lisp, a prominent gap between his top front teeth, and lime green eyes. He hates everyone in the world, but hates no one more than he hates himself.


THE BAND COLLECTIVELY



Now that we've seen and reviewed the band members themselves, I'd like us to take a look at two lesser, yet ever important, characters.

CHARLES FOSTER OFDENSEN
Band manager, CFO, attorney, etc.
Chuck is a hardcore manager who takes his job more seriously than anything in the world. He doesn't look like much, but he's a real shit-kicker when it comes to someone f/_riff\ing with his "bread and butter."


LEONARD ROCKSTEIN
A.K.A. Dr. Rockso (the Rock 'n Roll Clown)
He does cocaine.
Let's leave it at that.



Now my chickadees, I would like to close this article by thanking you for taking the time to look at this ridiculous dribble that was created out of pure boredom.
Oh, I almost forgot.
Let us also thank Brendon Small, the creator of Metalocalypse.
Cheers, Brendon.
You are truly a god amongst idiots.