We all love Dr. Gregory House and his team, so...here are the best works:



QUOTES:
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Stacy: Don't say anything; don't attempt to defend your billing practices, your billing practices are indefensible.
House: We've been over this.
Stacy: If I thought you were capable of listening, I'd shut up.
House: That makes no sense at all.
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Medicaid guy: Are you seriously expecting us to foot the bill for off-label use of medication?
House: Fine, I'll pay for it. [reaches for his wallet] How much are the pills? She took how many?
Stacy: [hits House] Put the money away!
Medicaid guy: Are you trying to bribe me?
House: No! I could. There's an ATM in the lobby.
Stacy: My client's an idiot.



-
House: Hey honey, how are the kids? They miss me?
House: What's new with Mr Aphasia?
Wilson: Cuddy called you?


- Foreman: CT scan was negative.
House: CT... that's like, short for MRI, right? Excellent, well I guess that saves us a lot of time.




- Hello, sick people and their loved ones! In the interest of saving time and avoiding a lot of boring chitchat later, I'm Doctor Gregory House; you can call me "Greg." I'm one of three doctors staffing this clinic this morning. This ray of sunshine is Doctor Lisa Cuddy. Doctor Cuddy runs this whole hospital, so unfortunately she's much too busy to deal with you. I am a board certified diagnostician with a double specialty of infectious disease and nephrology. I am also the only doctor employed at this hospital who is forced to be here against his will. That is true, isn't it? But not to worry, because for most of you, this job could be done by a monkey with a bottle of Motrin. Speaking of which, if you are particularly annoying, you may see me reach for this: this is Vicodin. It's mine! You can't have any. And no, I do not have a pain management problem, I have a pain problem... but who knows? Maybe I'm wrong. Maybe I'm too stoned to tell. So, who wants me?''


Wilson: Do you know your phone's dead? Do you ever recharge your batteries?
House: They recharge? I just keep buying new phones.



House: Either you've decided to do a lumbar puncture, or you have to fire me so that I can't fire all of you as soon as I get back in charge. Is Cuddy there ranting?


House: No, I'm just felling. [exaggerates in a voice filled with tears] Our little girl is growing up!


House: I'm not going anywhere.
Security Guy: You think you're gonna take me on?
House: I kick, and I bite.