<sub>Welcome to the Agony Corner, a helpful resource brought to you by the #LitLove team for your enjoyment. Anyone can submit a question (about anything) simply by sending a note to =Lit-Resources. From issue four onwards the articles will also be POSTED from this account, so you need to watch that account to recieve them!

The star question of each issue gets a prize! So let's get on with it...




Question: Why does my cat steal all of our shiny objects and keep them stashed in her bed?

She is fashioning a mirror to place above your face so that when you awaken you see yourself and think you've been cloned. - The Coke Kitty

You must seek a restraining order against your Cat. She is secretly plotting to kill you. - Little Miss Red-Or-Dead



Question: Who put the "bop" in the bop-shoo-bop-shoo-bop?

lmfao at below answer. - The Coke Kitty

Hitler. - Judge Mental

roflmao at above answer. - Little Miss Red-Or-Dead



Question: who put the "wham" in the wham-a-lam-a-ding-dong?

Hanna Barbara, circa 1960. - Dr. Wiki Von Misinformation

The hit band Wham! a pop band formed in 1981 by George Michael and Andrew Ridgeley. - The Coke Kitty

The same one who took it out... - Judge Mental



Question: Can I have a cookie?

Ralfmaximus' will love to give you one... - Judge Mental

Ralfmaximus gave me one, and I had to see a special doctor afterwards to get rid of the itching. - The Coke Kitty

Cookies may be activated in your web browser, and will be downloaded automatically thereafter. - Dr. Wiki Von Misinformation



Question: You know how all the continents used to be in one landmass, then they drifted apart? If they've always been on seperate plates, why were the land bits EVER all together? I never got that.

You shouldn't judge other land masses relationships based on your own racist beliefs. All land masses have the right to co-habit with whoever they want. - The Coke Kitty

This is so racist... Who are you to judge what others do in their bedroom?! - Judge Mental

The Pangea Theory is one of the cruelest hoaxes ever foisted off on a gullible public. The very idea that continents traipse around the planet like drunken elephants is laughable. The truth is that all planetary land masses are securely bolted to the earth's crust via 16,520 18" threaded wing-nuts cleverly concealed beneath the earth's mountain ranges. Earthquakes are simply the result of these nuts being tightened periodically by US Geological Survey teams. - Dr. Wiki Von Misinformation



Question: what do you think happens after you die, does afterlife exist?

I don't know... why are you asking me?! - Judge Mental

The afterlife used to exist, but was shut down in late 2006 due to budgetary shortfalls. The money has since been diverted to the War on Terror. - Dr. Wiki Von Misinformation

*sets you on fire with super flamethrower of DOOOOM. Let me know in about 10 minutes. - Little Miss Red-Or-Dead



Question: What's the difference between a pail, and a bucket?

the name. - The Coke Kitty

Pails may be stored inside buckets, but not the reverse. - Dr. Wiki Von Misinformation

the handle - Little Miss Red-Or-Dead



Question: How can I deal with my daily stress?

Become nocturnal. - The Coke Kitty

I take a bath with *RalfMaximus - Judge Mental



Question: I am obsessed with my writing pieces being over 1,500 words, and I don't believe that they are good enough it they fall short of that. Is this a symptom of OCD?

No, OCD is is a mental disorder most commonly characterized by intrusive, repetitive thoughts resulting in compulsive behaviors and mental acts that the person feels driven to perform, according to rules that must be applied rigidly, aimed at preventing some imagined dreaded event. You are experiencing good old fashioned 'references'. However strong they are, don't panic. Everyone has them. - The Coke Kitty

Yes. Other symptoms include eye dryness while staring at your monitor for prolonged periods, an overall lethargy when awake for more than 20 hours, and pain experienced after bashing your head repeatedly on the desk. If symptoms persist, keep checking obsessively. - Dr. Wiki Von Misinformation

the first rule of dAmn club is we don't talk about dAmn Club - Little Miss Red-Or-Dead



Question: How do souls work?

5 to 9. - Judge Mental

at minimum wage - The Coke Kitty

Insert a coin, select "Player One", then try to stay alive for as long as possible. Some religious sects believe it is possible to continue the process by inserting additional coins when confonted by "Game Over." - Dr. Wiki Von Misinformation

Slave labour - Little Miss Red-Or-Dead



Question: Whats your belief on gay?

I believe in you. Use the force. - Judge Mental

islam? judaism? I don't know. Any of the beliefs will do. - The Coke Kitty




Question: Why is dA so dAmn good?

The first rule about dAmn club is we don't talk about dAmn club. - Judge Mental

The first rule about dAmn club is we don't talk about dAmn club. - The Coke Kitty

The first rule about dAmn club is we don't talk about dAmn club. - Dr. Wiki Von Misinformation

The first rule about dAmn club is we don't talk about dAmn club. - Little Miss Red-Or-Dead



Question: If i you could choose any place to live.. where would it be?

Check your closet... - Judge Mental

In your closet, with Omri. - Dr. Wiki Von Misinformation

Im going to avoid the obvious answer (playboy mansion) and go with.... $Moonbeam13's house. So I could steal fellas and make a fella army. - The Coke Kitty



Question: If the bus driver gets off the bus, who shuts the door then?

Who shuts the door??! Who stops the bus!!! - Judge Mental

See the film Speed from 1994. - The Coke Kitty

The passengers, screaming as they try to exit the out-of-control bus. - Dr. Wiki Von Misinformation

Jesus does! FTW ! - Little Miss Red-Or-Dead



Question: Can you listen to the sounds of the ocean through a sea shell when your underwater?

Not if you have ear plugs in. - Little Miss Red-Or-Dead

Seashells emit sympathetic oceanic wave particles only when dry, thus immersing one will silence the effect. - Dr. Wiki Von Misinformation

Can you listen to The Sound of Music when Elton John stands behind you? - Judge Mental




Question: Is it worth my health to work extra hard/long in order to keep my family's stress level down and my parents less stressed? I often work myself into a sickness, but it's worth it in the end to not have the yelling and stress going about. What should I do?

The solution is obvious. Kill your family. - Dr. Wiki Von Misinformation

Get pregnant and the the government will take care of you. - Little Miss Red-Or-Dead

If you are going to be equally stressed either way (working too hard / shouting and yelling) then do the one that makes you happy. - The Coke Kitty




Question: Why is vanilla ice cream white when the vanilla extract is brown, wouldn't the ice-cream be brown?

would you eat brown sloppy half liquid half solid mess?? - The Coke Kitty

Real vanilla is indeed white. The stuff to which you refer is actually tree bark, and should be avoided. - Dr. Wiki Von Misinformation

Vanilla Ice is dead... long dead... - Judge Mental

Ice Ice baby! - Little Miss Red-Or-Dead




Question: Why are we here answering this questions?

You're answering the questions? Well that makes my job a lot easier!! I'm off down the pub. - The Coke Kitty

Because answers without questions would be just ridiculous. - Dr. Wiki Von Misinformation



Question: if peter piper picked a peck of pickled peppers, where's the peck of pickled peppers peter piper picked?

It has been diverted to a call center in India at this time. Please hold and we will try to connect you to someone in your region. - The Coke Kitty

Alas, that information is not available, since Mr.Piper expired before revealing the location of his picked peppers. - Dr. Wiki Von Misinformation




Question: What is a question without an answer?

- Judge Mental

ummmmmmmmm.... the first rule of dAmn club is we don't talk about dAmn Club? - Little Miss Red-Or-Dead

An unasked question is like an unpooped turd -- it is only a matter of time before the inevitable comes to pass. - Dr. Wiki Von Misinformation

That was pleasant Dr. Wiki Von Misinformation, thanks.... a to-do list. - The Coke Kitty




Thanks to =peterdawes, *Tmunky, =nyxiathewarrior, *duskydawn, =Derzorvadur, ~Painless-Tears, ~svariat, =Leo-Garth, :devchristine-dereveux:, =simplelifegirl and =elicoronel16 for their questions.

! This issues star question was from =Leo-Garth, who will recieve a 1 month Deviant ART subscription as a prize!</sub>