The NEW Forum Newsletter!

The issue we've all been waiting for, ISSUE 12 marks the one year mark since the hostile takeover of The Forum Newsletter.

`conorschild ran this baby from issue one to sixteen [1 - 16]
~mangachu published Issue 1, Volume 2 on April 1st. And really, it seemed like an April Fools Joke. [1]
=bohobella has been woman-handling the newsletter ever since, from issue 2 - 12 and still going strong (I hope)! [2 - 12]

And that is the life and times of The Forum Newsletter. Don't forget! Every issue of the Newsletter written is posted in a sticky in deviants, check it out here: [link]

And in honour of our anniversary, look out for the contest we're having, details below!

The Forum News

And the great Ceiling Cat Said...

"Let there be cats."
And there were.
And they were good.
Are you happy, =CittensCollar?

FORUM NEWSLETTER CONTEST?!

Oh yes, there is one! Be sure to check out the contest in this issue!
Well, at least, if you want to be a cool cat with your own column, you should...
In honour of the contest, you'll note many of your fellow deviants have written their own segments in this issue. Condsider it samples.
And yes, we had to bring it up twice.

I see a bad troll rising...

Looks like we're fucked - Some annoyance is lingering in the forums under the names of *ohanlon and *thistlewood
They're not just gawffik.
They're suffering from gothicism.
And lack of proper English classes.

DeviantART: 100% Monster Free Zone

A new page that pops up when you click any link leaving deviantART warns you that out there - beyond the cushioned, soft walls that are deviantART's - there be monsters. Clearly, whoever worded the page haven't run into any of our dear trolls.

This page has resulted in surprising butthurt, particularly by users who think deviantART is accusing their other websites of being virus-ridden beasts.

Bizzare Blizzard of Bizzaro

=SylverKitsune has the scoop:

Recently the forums have been invaded by two very strange beings. The first is , who is in every way different from our beloved , and does not want to say goodbye to none of you because you do not make her happy in that place, and she hates Non-Compaints and nobody out of it. That is not all and this is hello.

The second is , who descends upon your Earth from the skies... or more specifically, your ceilings. She is watching you and giving you loves from above. If you hear giggling and the sounds of Queen playing above you... do not spray for an infestation. It is only an infestation of Sylvers - the SECOND-cutest infestation ever.
=SylverKitsune

(And we all should known, koalas would be the first cutest - )

=mngamojemo offers her own take on the story as well!

Recently, strange new creatures have been observed around Complaints.

The first incident was on February 19th, when a being known as bizarromngamojemo posted a thread demanding my presence so she could give me a big hug of loathing. This thread baffled the good citizens of Complaints, who have apparently never read Superman. It also baffled me when I logged in the next day and everyone was asking me who Bizarro was.

_{See, Bizarro is Superman's imperfect clone, who thinks in very strange and contorted logic. He lives on Bizarro World with a bunch of other imperfect Superman clones, imperfect Lois Lane clones, and imperfect Krypto the muggafuggin' Superdog clones. There's even a Bizarro Lex Luthor, who tried to turn the cubic Bizarro World into a sphere, but was stopped by Bizarro Krypto.}

So apparently what happened is, someone grabbed ahold of my genetic material, tried to replicate me so they could sex my clone, but screwed up and made a frightening creature who likes Twilight and Sonic 'shipping.

Then, on the 26th, ~ceilingsylverplz reared her head. She is watching you from the ceiling. She is watching always.
=mngamojemo


I think the lesson here is this: It's creepy how similar =mngamojemo and =SylverKitsune write the stories without coordinating.

Wannabe Holocaust

!nihilSS's last marble is no where to be found when she came back from the dead, only to spam the Complaints forum to hell and possibly, to seem like she's some sort of superdooper HXC!!!11 white supremisist nazi?

For more, we turn to our "Oh mah god I'll write it!" correspondent, =mngamojemo :

Today, Friday, February 13th, 2009, is the day !nihilSS sought her revenge.
Her really, really lame revenge.

She flooded the forum with deliberately inflammatory threads like [link] , espousing unarguably racist views. In one thread she claimed that IQ scores among different races remained the same regardless of socioeconomic background, because she apparently has never met my white relatives up in that mill town.

There were at least 48 such threads made under 20something different account names, most of which had been created three months ago, when she was banned for a stupid reason in the first place. Some of the accounts used for spamming were recent, the work of a fellow from Complaintopia (where our Nazis and their supporters sought refuge). The fellow in question, as of this writing, has an avatar consisting of Tails from Sonic in SS garb, standing in front of a Swastika flag. Make of that what you will.

Back in Complaintopia, there was some discussion of the flooding of Complaints. [link]age=1 Our favourite gun-toting Reverend who owes me twenty bucks, =PaulStrealer, initially assumed it was, quote, “false-flag deal by one of the people opposed to Nihil”. When she admitted the truth, he deleted the thread, citing OPSEC.

That's Operational Security. No shit. They're a forum dedicated to shooting the shit in a Nazi-friendly environment, and they're citing Operational Security.

It wasn't just Complaints that was spammed. =OuroborosCobra and =thetifftiff were hit directly on the userpage by a new deviant with the name !OralboringCockmonglr, who addressed =thetifftiff as “thedicktiff”, thus proving, once and for all, the true superiority of the Aryan intellect.

Have we seen the last of the Nazi drama? Who knows? One thing we have seen the last of, I'd venture to guess, is everyone's illusion of Nihil being the sweet, reasonable Nazi who totally holds no racist views at all.
=mngamojemo

OMG MORE NAZI DRAMA!

See: [link]

The thread asks us, "why do you live?"
One of the few remaining Nazi of the forums, =Miniskirt, had the expected basic reply: "Because my health allows it."

Lulz should have been had by all.
But not today.
Not today.

"you should die..." EXCLAIMED THE THREAD-STARTER, ~Molchansky (aka a nobody - a JEWISH nobody)
"Why?" asked the curious little nazi.
"because i hate nazi fucks"

And it just keeps getting better, folks!

The Jewish nobody tossed threatening, insulting, and pretty hypocritical statements such as "and if you won't die and i'll see you i will kill you", "we will live, we survived you nazi fucks in 1940's, and we will kill all of you...", "i have the wright to kill nazi's" and "you can go fuck yourself and marry a nazi". We also got ourselves 1 free sob story about his grandparents!

Really, just follow the link above to taste the lulz for yourself!

Pot 'n Porn: Unite to form Economic Power!

`timmy64 reports to us from the scene: A recent phenomena, people are crying for the legalisation of pot in order to ride out the economic woes.

[link]
[link]
[link] Prostitution too!

Forum Feature

=SANE-INTOLERANT!

What would start as just a little thing in a little journal grew into Series of Tubes High by =SANE-INTOLERANT. This guy has been around dA for ages (see: 4 years), so if anyone can personify him, =SANE-INTOLERANT is our man.

Don't miss out on her gallery, she's more than just some lulzy comments! (Gender swapping: =OuroborosCobra's day job)

See the collection of SERIES OF TUBES HIGH here!

Sample Deviations:

Columist Contest!

Do you want your own segment in The Forum Newsletter?

Your very own column? To write whatever forum-related drabble your heart can dream of?

NOW'S YOUR CHANCE

In honour of the Forum Newsletter's one year anniversary of take-over, we're opening our doors to the forumers and giving you a chance to be a part of the Forum Newsletter directly.


What's up for grabs?

A new section in the Forum Newsletter where the winner will become the columnist, writing whatever they'd like in their 500 - 1000 word space each month!

How do I enter this a-mazing contest?

Note =bohobella the following:

The Concept: What will your monthly columns be? (Ex: Monthy MN@ interviews, monthy forumer sonnets, monthly Politics coverage, etc.)
The Sample: 250 - 500 word sample of what your column will consist of. All samples sent in will be featured in the next newsletter!
The title: What will the title of your segment be?
The Why: A bit about yourself and why you deserve the column.

Just remember, if you're competing, you should be capable of submitting your finished column at the end of every month, a few days in advance. It is understandable if one month you just can't do it, but you have to be somewhat flexible!

When do I have to have my entries in by?

All entries due by March 30th 2009.

So quick! It's your chance to become a cool devART cat and contribute to the newsletter like never before!

Interview!

CEILING CAT's interview with `conorschild

What inspired you to create the Forum Newsletter?

I was bored. Also, well, when I first joined the forums I remembered that--at least for me--there was more of a sense of camaraderie amongst the forumers--!ShadowGamers, !W-P-S, ~Aramakael, `jnc, `Rendarin, ~Epion, ~mousegod, *curran, most of the #Forum gang, like ~Nomaran, ~ToxicFool, !DarbySniper, etc.--which around a few months before I started the Newsletter there wasn't so much of. Most of those had gone, and while there was a lot of new posters, I didn't feel there was such a group feeling.

~happypelican had also inspired me: he started up the ~da-youth-crew in the Music Forum and it helped stop a lot of flame wars and trolling in there--while at the same time, getting everyone together and having funtiems. I wasn't really a part of that, seeing as I only dipped into that forum occasionally at the time, but I saw how just something as simple as that had improved the music forum immensely.

Around the time I started the newsletter, #Forum was still going but kinda fading out, and I was hoping that with it, I'd boost cohesion in the forums. After about two issues I realised that was really stupid and just did it for fun. Doing it for fun was better.

How did it gain it's loyal following?

I just posted it in my journal, linked it in my signature, and it all snowballed. I think the biggest boost came when lolly found out about it and begun making a thread in the Deviants forum.

What kind of changes did you make to it throughout your run writing the newsletter?

I think having a stronger focus on forum members as the series went on--I quickly learnt that, actually, not a whole lot happens in the forums as far as news goes, and while I always linked threads and comments, I never really had a huge amount linked to me so I missed a lot of them. So I begun interviewing them--I think the first was with lolly, and then `VernonX9000--which was kinda cool, because it got a lot of people to view other forums (especially older ones) the same as everyone else. I'd already broken the ice, so to speak.

What was your favorite section to write in the Forum Newsletter?

Probably the interviews, it was nice to think up bizarre situations for people to be interviewed in. I'm really annoyed, actually, that I never got to interview !ShadowGamers. I met him at a devMEET after he got banned the first time but had to leave early. It would've been my first actual newsletter.

Oh, and the little taglines I gave the news articles for the news listings. "If journalism was Heath Ledger, we're an inappropriate amount of medication," was my favourite.

What made you quit the Newsletter?

Time, mainly. Plus I just wasn't spending enough time in the forums--like all the people I mentioned above, I was moving on from them. But as far as time went, I was starting my A levels and struggling, I was focusing more on my writing--I wasn't spending enough time in the forums to be able to do any reporting. And while I'd always invited people to send in threads and comments, few people really actually did, so I wasn't able to get by on those. In retrospect, I could've tried to delegate more, but at the time I just quit--I think you'll know yourself how hard it is too work as a team on the article.

Why did you choose ~mangachu to take on the newsletter?

I didn't . I actually asked *AJGlass to do it--I thought his sense of humour would suit it well--but he declined for similar reasons to me, I believe. I didn't make any announcement that I was stopping the Newsletter, just didn't bother to post the next issue (I didn't really want people to try to make me continue it...or find out no-one cared aranoid) and ~mangachu was the first person to notice that, and ask if it was okay to do it themselves. Well, why not?

What did you think of ~mangachu's first and only issue of the "New Froum Newsletter"?

Oh, it was terrible.

What do you think of the Forum Newsletter nowadays?

Oh, it's terrible.

What changes would you make to the Forum Newsletter if you had your writing powers once again?

Hey I've already threatened to take it back once [_{Bohobella Fun Fact: `conorschild blackmailed me during the Forum Awards Gala!}] I dunno, compared to yours? I think I always made it clear how ridiculous the whole thing was So I'd probably bring that back. I think I was a lot more irrelevant too, which was probably worse, but I'd bring that black.

If I was back in the seat? I guess I'd probably rid it of all the "news"--it's a forum, nowt happens but drama, and everyone hears about that--and just have it dedicated to threads, comments, features of forumers, the latest trends, some distractions. Maybe have a section where forumers did something together--contests (I always think that the forums could have some good contests in them, but we'd probably need image posting for a lot of the time), etc., try to get another forum chat started up...hey wait, you're going to steal this, aren't you!?

Oh and I'd campaign for a forum clean up. Little do you know my disappearance is all part of my plan to ward of negative aspects of myself so I can gain a $ and then completely revamp the forums. Like having a forum just for spamming. And getting rid of half of them. And having the gallery forums linked clearer. And allowing image posting so we don't have those stupid plz accounts. And banning people just from the forums, left right and centre.

Do you read it once a month at your kitchen table with your coffee while your wife prepares your toast and eggs?

Yes. Well, not read, I curse it's very existence. And not kitchen table, I do it whilst sitting on my throne, made of the skeletons of my enemies cast in gold. And no wife, just `DarkApple dressed in leather chaps and a choker necklace. Toast and eggs though, I'll stick by that. I'm pleased with those words.

Best of the Forums!

Threads

I've had a bad day so far. by =HisnameisDaveyoufool
I sent a letter to God. by ~A-S-m-i-t-h
Hello, I'm a gay man. I'm going to ruin your way of life. by =ScorpionOuSauterelle
Basic Lesbian Sexual Knowledge by =bohobella
I took a brick and put it in the school's toilet by =WatermelonBread
Lard ass required a uhaul to go to court... by ~Iron-Confederate

Comments

To be honest I don't even know if I am [circumcised] or not... by ~TheTriggulator

Love is like a hot bath, if you don't keep it topped up it'll just get cold, if you stay in for a long time by the time you get you'll be wrinkly. And toys make it more fun. by `littlefishey

I want to stab you through the eye with a pencil. by ~BlaiddDrwgMeddyg

Oh, I love the 1D section! It's all like . But people are always putting stuff in it that's all like | by ~shininginthedarkness

I cut my tits off and fashioned them into a make-shift cock and balls, which I think promptly stuffed in my pants. by =Mixedpie

~Peanguinex used BITCHFIT!...It's not very effective... by ~mechanikill-toxin

Man with no arms enters a national masturbation competition. Poor sod didn't come anywhere. by =coolmarvin

Both of those groups have done it. There are whole countries full of black people, and there are gay villages all over the place.
by *nerofly

Praise the Flying Spaghetti Monster aaaaaaaargh doubloons! by ~pignut

AND THEN AND THEN AND THEN EVERYONE WILL HAVE SEVEN CHILD-BRIDES AND ALSO MARRY A HORSE AND THEN THE HORSE WILL GIVE BIRTH TO A CAT TO PROVE EVOLUTION AND THEN OBAMA WILL MAKE EVERYONE WEAR A MUSLIN BHURKA by =mngamojemo

Did you hear about Rihanna?She was beaten up by her fella ... ella ... ella.
by ~BlaiddDrwgMeddyg

That's it! I'm declaring Martian Law! Martian Knights, assemble! We're gathering homeless people! by ~sbkMulletMan

Plz Account

Suggestion

Notes - An option to "Mark as Unread" by :devCanuckGirl22:

And finally...

The WORST

Looking into problems before acting by *Emerald-Depths
Obama PORK FEST! by =DryBonesReborn
So what? by *stitched-patchez
My first experience in a Garage band by ~Ensiferuminflames
Are we that blind? by ~saiki55
Stop Puppy Mills! by =emmejay-fwz
Evolution is the new religion by `cheneymac
Homosexuality should not be tolerated by ~WilliamWolfe
Americans are Undereducated Idiots? by ~MetaPotent





Timmy's Pick of the Month:^{Powered by `timmy64} A Trip to Oz. by ~A-S-m-i-t-h

Odds & Ends

Past Forum Newsletters

A sticky created by lolly and updated by various staff members can be found here in the Deviants forum for all your past forum newsletter needs! Relive the memories you had of a time when `conorschild was still the master behind the news, and thank the staff for being so kind as to post them!

Forum Clubs!

If you want to keep up-to-date with some of deviantART's most popular forums, these clubs are a great place to start.

*DAPoliticalForum *DAComplaintsforum ~DAMusicForum *DAReligiousForum

Submit comments & threads to the Newsletter!

Spot a hilarious thread or comment?
Think it deserves spotlight?
How about nominating a fellow forumer for the monthly feature?
Send a note to =bohobella and she'll see to it! Please include links to all threads and comments if possible.

When submitting threads, trolls, ban reports or comments try to include which it is: thread, ban, troll, comment or other, in the title of the note!

In the next issue...

It's the one-year anniversary that the Forum Newsletter's NEW issues have been released! Oh the festivities of it all...

Brought to you by

The letter C, the number six (6!) and yours truely.

This month's word is Kitty, as in KITTY KITTY KITTY KITTY KITTY!
The letter C is for Cat.

Until next time, happy foruming!

_{Shout outs to ~LOVEintheSNOW, our #1 formatter!}