The LOL Corner

This regular news article promises to make you giggle, chortle, and laugh your ass off.

Every edition will feature a collection of the funniest chat network quotes.

dAmnIt! is a database of funny quotes submitted by deviants like you.

dAmnIt! has reached over 15,000 quotes!

When something funny happens in a chatroom, share it with everyone! It only takes a few clicks, and while you're there browse through all the other hilarious quotes!

Feel free to note me with suggested dAmnIt! quotes to go into the next edition.

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Edition FortyFour
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All Past Editions
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The Quotes

<bobman323> sorry, was grabbin chickn nuggts
<Gradendine> np
<bobman323> it's holding up for now, took me 5 minutes to get it up this morning
<bobman323> ...
<bobman323> can i reword that?



<ZombiesILove> The-Inkling: Why is it people keep on popping in and out of here?
<The-Inkling> ZombiesILove: Well, my internet is the offspring of a flea infested, sway backed camel...As for the others I cannot say
<ZombiesILove> The-Inkling: You have an animal that produces internet?
<The-Inkling> ZombiesILove: Yes. Why, dont you?
<ZombiesILove> The-Inkling: No. No I don't. I don't have any animals that produce internet, actualy. It's very sad.
<ZombiesILove> The-Inkling: Can't I just reconnect an existing animal like my weiner dog?
<The-Inkling> ZombiesILove: They have to be specially bred Im afraid...and weiner dogs arent very condusive to getting good signals
<ZombiesILove> The-Inkling: But...I have two! So then I can just strap them together, right? I can tape a weiner dog to another, no problem.
<The-Inkling> ZombiesILove: Hmm...perhaps, if you string them together and hang them out an upper story window you might get good reception
<ZombiesILove> The-Inkling: But I dunno if Dox and Milo would like that much
<The-Inkling> ZombiesILove: Indeed, it would probably be bad for their health
<ZombiesILove> The-Inkling: Mhm, or their backs. Plus, I don't think it's legal here in America to tape two weiner dogs together and hang them out the window with an antenea on them, claiming I'm trying to get free internet.
<The-Inkling> ZombiesILove: Thats why you get the special breeds...they give you a certificate



<Synith> What?
<Tobaeus> ?
<Synith> What?
<Tobaeus> ?
<Synith> What?
<Tobaeus> ?
<Synith> Anyhow.
<Tobaeus> How are you?
<Synith> Good. You?
<Tobaeus> Good.
<Synith> Good,
<Tobaeus> Good, good.
<Synith> Yes, yes-- it is good, isn't it?
<Tobaeus> It is very good, my good friend.
<Synith> Yes, quite good, really.
<Synith> So tell me the good news, my good friend.
<Tobaeus> Good news?
<Synith> Yeah, the good stuff.
<Tobaeus> I got to exercise today.
<Synith> Oh wow! That's good!
<Tobaeus> I haven't been able to do that in over a week.
<Tobaeus> Felt pretty good.
<Synith> Ah, yea-- exercise is so very good for your body.
<Synith> Wonderfuly good, really.
<Tobaeus> Yes, it is.
<Tobaeus> So what is your good stuff/news?
<Synith> Yes, yes-- it is good, isn't it?
<Synith> Oh well, I had a pretty good day.
<Synith> Went to school, had a nice time at school.
<Synith> So, you know-- it was all good.
<Synith> You?
<Tobaeus> Good.
<Synith> Oh, good! I'm glad.
<Tobaeus> Me too.
<Tobaeus> I'm glad you're good, too.
<Synith> Yeah, I am doing good. Last week I was bad, but today I'm good.
<Synith> So it's all good, you know?
<Tobaeus> Glad things are looking up.
<Synith> Me too, I'm glad they're good.
<Synith> Are you glad I'm good?
<Tobaeus> Yes, I'm glad you're good.
<Synith> Good-- I'd have to ungood you if you didn't.
<Tobaeus> It's so good that you're good.
<Tobaeus> I'm glad to be not un-gooded.
<Synith> You should be. It's not good to be ungooded. It's not good at all. Not good at all.
<Tobaeus> Not at all.
<Synith> Nope. Not at all.
<Tobaeus> Nope.
<Tobaeus>
<Synith> Don't be sad-- it's good to feel good about feeling good, you know?
<Tobaeus> Yes, it is good.
<Tobaeus> It's all good.
<Synith> Very good I might add.
<Synith> Very good for your health, too.
<Tobaeus> Oh, so glad.
<Tobaeus> Me too.
<Synith> Oh I'm glad!
<Tobaeus> Glad is good.
<Synith> It can be. Unless you're glad you just got shot. That's not good.
<Tobaeus> It's not good. But we shouldn't judge others by their standards of gladness.
<Synith> That's a very good point.
<Synith> But still-- getting shot isn't good at all.
<Tobaeus> Not at all.
<Tobaeus> Not much good can come after that.
<Synith> Oh man, I'll tell you. No good comes of that.
<Tobaeus> No good at all, and not just for you, but for anyone who knew you.
<Synith> Why does my underwear smell like cookies?



<SilverFaux> Darkkinkachu: owo i just uploaded a buttload of pics
<10-Q> SilverFaux: A buttload is a vivid standard of measurement, no?



<rapidograph> OpalMist: there is nothing more traumatic than walking into a petting zoo and getting blindsided by a llama who simply has too much cud built up in its digestive system and singles you out as its next target



<eludingdarkness> When do the lolcorner people get on.. because i don't want them to steal my funniness



<GaioumonBatou> Azuire: Mahatma Gandhi, as you know, walked barefoot most of the time, which produced an impressive set of calluses on his feet. He also ate very little, which made him rather frail and, with his odd diet, he suffered from bad breath. This made him a super calloused fragile mystic hexed by halitosis.
<GaioumonBatou> now THAT
<GaioumonBatou> is a bad pun.
<Azuire> And if you said that loud enough it's really quite atrocious.



<emothemurdok> YO DAWG I HERD U LIEK CARS SO I PUT A CAR IN YOUR CAR SO YOU CAN DRIVE WHILE YOU DRIVE.



<nicaranime> EclipseDarkmaster: where did you go?
<EclipseDarkmaster> Up your bum
<EclipseDarkmaster> Bend over so I can get out
<nicaranime> <.< well why did you go there?
<EclipseDarkmaster> I had a New Spelunkin' hat



<IaiaRose> My mom was porn on Hitler's birthday
<IaiaRose> born*



<Karnrin> Akusushi: yeah, she's always out shaving her roommate



<topher-the-tiger> hows everyone doin?
<bobman323> GRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRREEEEEEAAAAT!!!
<bobman323> i could not resist, i am so sorry tony
<bobman323> er
<bobman323> topher



<DaPineapple> My bologna has a first name, it's Om NOm NOm Nom Nom!



<SilversAngel> halonut117: you know, you really remind me of my stuffed monkeh named Dumbass



<melupa> Amita-Eppes: unprotected phone sex leads to hearing AIDS



<Atrocity-of-life> So I went to the blacksmith yesterday and he asked if I'd ever shooed a horse.
<Atrocity-of-life> I had to tell him no, but I have told a donkey to fuck off.



<Jiyuu-Chan> Me? I'm pansexual, 20 years old.
<Eserpess> whats a pansexual?
<Betelgeux> A cookware fetish.
<Eserpess> never heard of it
<Jiyuu-Chan> It's true. I have this one strainer.. Ohhh boy. *fans self*
<Betelgeux> Oh baby, oh baby.
<Eserpess> how...unique.
<Jiyuu-Chan> This is going straight into dAmn.



*Rudahn throws their shit pile on the bed and pulls playstation remote out
<Rudahn> Crap, shirt*
<Rudahn> >.<



<Jeaneai> Vegetarian prostitute. Couldn't eat meat.
<Jeaneai> Her customers would be dissapointed.



<lenawargo> EvilCheeseMan: I love hippies, have many of them as friends
<lenawargo> EvilCheeseMan: I keep them in a pen in my backyard



** YouGotBanned has been made a member of Banned by cypher-neo *