A creepy feature of my... I mean, a feature of my creepy watchers.

They are very creepy. They sit behind their computer screens and creepily watch me. Their mouse pointers creep across the screen and click things. They write creepy, creaky little comments. They are creepy little voices... and they talk to me.

And here are the last... or first, volunteers


And a creepy person who doesn't watch me. So they say.
But I know they liiiiiie. I feel the tickling spiderlegs of watchingness. The warping of reality. The AUDITORS ARE COMING.


So. In an effort to prove I am not mad, I here set out to feature their very creepily realistic looking pictures. The internet is real! These people exist!
They have puppies and kittens and warm fluffy mittens and hundreds of little legs, the legs, *patterpatter* oh my ... noooooosdgkgfgfdhghggfh MORE BOILING OIL *chomp*




*tick tock tick tock tiiiiick tock tick tooooooock*
Imagine if the crocodile carried Vetinari's clock. I think Hook would have ended up eating Tinkerbell.



However, there is a catch. To be featured, they had to forfeit their.... SOULS.
Problem: If these creepy creatures are real, do I WANT their souls?
Other Problem: If they are not... then I am getting no soul and am featuring them. for FREE



How did I persuade them, with such stakes, to give up their code? Simple. They are greedy and soulless creepy things.
Also I pretended to be trustworthy, distracted them with shinies, and told them the thumb was a bomb - which meant some panicked, and some tried to explode me. Occasionally I mugged them in passing, or stole it when they weren't looking.

Some people were recalcitrant. They will require... reeducation.


...oh dear. My audience is imaginary as well.

How then can this prove anything?
Can you see this? CAN YOU SEE?


Previous studies of the peculiar Watchera stalkerisia creepuscula:
In Which I First Discover And Discuss This Strange Species Of Minion
In Which I Subject Them To Scientific Study, And Inform Them That I Will Be Still Alive

Finally, a special moment for who has supported me, gave me first sub, and otherwise tried to decieve me into trusting them in order to steal my cookies... and I've just discovered is going through a horrible time. I'm sorry, I'm hurting for you, and words on the screen are such silly, awkward things that sometimes it seems more respectful to stay silent - but then, that leaves you more alone and doesn't really help.



And now, who knows the secret password?