The NEW Forum Newsletter!

What a splendid time of the year it is!
The first of April!
Issue 13 on the day of tricks!
Hooray-Hoorah!
Happy Birthday to the fish of fools!

This month's installment is riddled with riddles in honour of that lovable April fool!

By that we mean all passages have been translated to dutch and back again!
Brings a bit of !Prince-des-Sots back...

The Forum News

New avatars for the n00bs!

We saw many changes to the standard avatar, of the humble small man in the middle of the copy, who resembles something of Habbo hotel or a jelly baby, to this newest of changes marking our dearly popular "" |.

This newly avatar, much beloved by everyone, ignited a new avatar tendency - using the standard avatar with a different emoticon, plz account account or what have you, instead of "".

In the recentest of times, "" has turned his line into the littlest grin of possible happy. Sarcasm?

Complaintopia ProBoard Shutdown

Bye-Bye!
No more!
=SANE-INTOLERANT reports that for breaking an assumped 11/12 of the Terms of Service rules, the proboard of the Nazis of Complaints is no more. Notable members were !nihilSS and !rasput. The ban of this forum was probably in part thanks to their little "attack" on Complaints not so long ago. Check it out for yourself: [link]

Her Dark Prince is No More

!Her-dark-prince
!

Bye Bye Miss Mixed Pie

=Mixedpie has skipped town and left the forums and all of deviantART in the most angstful of ways!

~MPMG reports:

"=Mixedpie is currently suspended for starting more than a few threads about art that manages to fly under the policy radar while at the same time being quite disturbing. Well that combined with the fact that the admins got tired of being accused of allowing kiddie porn. And then there was a some follow up about the suspension."

A few links for thee!
[link] [link] [link] [link]

Forum Feature

~Agent-Sarah!

More and more often become we to talented forumers connected that with abundance of Forum influence writes. It is beautiful characteristics to have that forum-themed are, not to forget to the scarcely touched literature genre mention! ~Agent-Sarah has the stories for you - Control from her series, "Team Deviant".

They can being found at ~BogWing-Archives, just as some groups images are in ~Agent-Sarah's gallery.

Columist Contest!

Do you want your own segment in The Forum Newsletter?

The entries have... Not ARRIVED.



With all of 2 entries, we must postpone the contest.

All current entries and all entries collected through April can win - The prize is your very own section in The Forum Newsletter!

Enter before April 30th with a concept for your segment and a sample! Up to 1000 words.

Interview!

bohobella's interview with @martypunker

I'd been wanting to interview @martypunker for a while now. He's always ready to help a deviant, having locked plenty of threads I've found to be against a forum policy, or simply to help in projects a deviant may have - And here I had thought he hated me.

Unfortunately, like too many times, I've been quick to forget I promised to interview him. It took innocently walking down the street and having @martypunker attack my leg to remind me. It might have been his strategy all along to get my memory to recall, or he just wanted to partake in cannibalistic acts that day. I may never know.

We headed to @martypunker's box in an alleyway for the interview. Rumour was, when @martypunker became an MN@, he quit his job at Moe's, excited about what he thought would be a paying job. Oh the reality of it all!

All @martypunker had to his name was a cardboard box and a toaster, cradled in his arms as he rocked back and forth calling it 'Sian'. It was awkward, but the interview was a must! I turned over a garbage can and, with that as my table, the writing began.

"I'm special, dammit." @martypunker announced. He certainly looked it.

"FINE BE THAT WAY MR. PUNKER SO WHY ARE YOU A MARTY?"

"Marty comes from a song by Five Iron Frenzy entitled Marty. The first line is "Marty was a punk rocker, he went to all the shows/with patches on Swiss Army pants and two rings in his nose." On other online services, I was marty_the_punk_rocker or martythepunkrocker, but that's too long, and that's too long for certain online services, so it got shortened to martypunker and it stuck like that from then on."

Oh. Now he feels like sounding sane. How could an MN@ be so special, anyways? "How'd you get super lock powah?"

"$Tachy-on asked me if I wanted to join the team to help out in the forums and I said, "I THINK I JUST SHAT MY PANTS." Honestly, you can ask him." @martypunker explained. I backed away just a little.

"Did you truly shat your pants? And what did you do with said pants? We cant only hope, wear them on your head like a hat or crazy person."

"No, unfortunately I was using the English language tool of exager...that thing."

"My entire life is a lie because of you," I shook my head. I couldn't imagine @martypunker without pants on his head. "Any particular lulzy adventures you've gotten yourself up to?"

"I once locked a thread in the Music Forum for asking for illegal downloads..." Wow, @martypunker was sounding logical! "Even though..." @martypunker continued, "It specifically said... 'Free (legal) downloads'."

All readers, that's a facepalm moment.

"So what MN@ gossip can you tell us?" I had to ask, most staff keep it too hushush!

"I heard that @shuttermonkey likes ^Ikue or something," @martypunker shrugged, "Also. We all sit around in our free time and plot the destruction of all the merpeople."

"I was under the impression `Vlei was a merperson."

"Well, they are to blame for everything. We fear he's the ruler. Taking him out promptly will end all bad things in the world that need blaming for. But you didn't hear that from me."

Remember readers, you heard that from <stike>martypunker `Thebuild

"Does deviantART look completely different as an Admin? Oh tell our virgin eyes what we're missing!"

"It's version 50. It's already been released but only us MN@ can see it. It's amazing. You don't even have to type anything, just think really about it and a thread gets locked." @martypunker explained, "Unfortunately, only the most stable-of-mind MN@ can go into Complaints, else every thread would be locked."

"Which is where you come in?"

"Sort of. Let's just say I cheated on the mind test."

"Copying from @FixMeKnow is just rude."

"She's my archnemesis, why would I cheat off of her?" @martypunker pondered.

"Because maybe they'll think she was in fact the cheating one and fail her?"

"This math is above my head. Please go straight to jail, do not pass go, do not collect $200."

What did I expect for an answer with the combo of math and a punker?

"I GO TO JAIL? I HEAR YOU FUCK TOASTERS." The toaster in his arms wasn't helping any defense he might have made.

"I stick my penises in them sometimes. It keeps me warm and toasty. You should try it one time, but warning: Avoid water."

"So which MN@ are you secretly having sex with?" I was curious to know if he thought the toaster was one.

"Secret future MN@ *imafallenangel." :devmartypunker said, "I've been told that having sex with MN@ makes you automatically an MN@ or senior...why hasn't she gotten a tick/hat yet?"

"We can only hope she isn't cancelling it out by sucking off !ShadowGamers."

"She better not be! I hear he does bad things!" @martypunker gasped. Oh, it was true. The rumours of !ShadowGamers are grand. I hear he fucks girls in the most uncomfortable place - The back of a volkswagen.

"No need to worry. You can lock her up!" I reassured.

"In bed."

"With a lock."

"Next time she's here...next time..." @martypunker stared dreamily at his cardboard box bed.

"You should start a charity to improve your kinky sex life, you know."

"You know, I would but I just don't feel I get enough attention to do any cause justice. Now, I'm not crying for more attention, I would never do that, I'm just saying if I was going to do something like that, I'd want to do it with as much passion and support as possible and my ADD side says, "Eh, effort. No one reads your journals." He's so mean."

"Maybe you should start a charity to help you overcome your other personality, then. Do it behind his back." I suggested - That's the solution to everything.

"He IS my back! That's the tragedy!"

"Put on that sweater grandma knitted you, you know he cant see through it!"

"Don't be silly, grandma can't knit. She's too busy not remembering our names, forgetting to get Christmas presents for half the family, and talking in a raspy voice that no one can hear nor understand."

"...You should knit her a sweater!" Brilliant suggestion from yours truly, I'm on a roll.

"I should."

"Or make your lady friend do it. After she makes your sandwich." Toasters can knit, right?

"She never makes my sandwich. 'Cept once. I make all the sandwiches, I wear the pants in this relationship. 'Cept that one time I wore a skirt."

"What kind of sandwiches does your lady friend like then?" deviantART MUST KNOW.

"I toast some bread for her, spread mayonnaise on the toast, put chicken on it, then cut up some cheese sticks and stick it in the microwave until the cheese melts a little."

"Is your toaster-girl Sian an active devART member?" We might as well all stalk her if she is.

"She contributes deviations on *imafallenangel and can sometimes be seen commenting on mushy forum threads."

"How'd you meeeeet?" I was becoming a giggling school girl.

"She used to be more of a regular in the forums and we started talking on there, as you would with other regulars. I looked at her page and her art was just awesome, so I started watching her. At the time I was going out with someone else, but it turns out Sian had a crush on me, anyhow. I broke up with that girlfriend and tried to open up a little bit more on dA, inviting people to add me to MSN."

What an epic story of becoming less of a hermit.

"Sian added me and we started talking daily and we both had two of the cutest crushes on each other and found out through mutual conversations with jeregrettebcoup. I was a little skeptical about asking her out at first because I wasn't sure if I was just looking to fill a newly opened hole or if this was serious, but in the end, I asked her out on Nov 28th, 2007 and she said yes."

Aw! Happy ending!

"My life has been a million times better ever since then."

Such cutie pies! "How many times have you two met together?"

"Twice! Once in April '08 and once in December '08. I went over there in April and she came here in December. We made out in a hat museum. Be jealous."

"THEY MAKE HAT MUSEUMS NOW?"

"IT WAS LAME, 'cept for the phallic tower." Gotta love those. @martypunker does, why don't you?

"So when will you sail to Sian and move in with her and have babies named Chris 1, 2 and 3?" Because we need more @martypunkers to lock out lulzcow threads .

"We have vague plans about her possibly moving here in the future. She's consideirng taking an art course and working while I'm moving in with my parents to get more money a month. Nothing's solidified at the moment, but that's okay. It'll work out."

"Which MN@ would you go on a double date with?"

"@FixMeKnow. Keep your friends close...AND YOUR ARCHNEMESISESESESES IN BED!"

Expect some raunchy MN@ porn in the near future. THAT'S why you should support *imafallenangel becoming an MN@.

"Oh, any lulzy stuff you have to share in your days of MN@?"

"@shuttermonkey and I both live in Florida and we've been "planning" a devmeet ever since I joined the team. It'll happen...one day..."

"Watch it be crashed by lolly."

"I wouldn't mind, unless he confused my couch for a bed." Poor guy thinks the garbage can is a couch.

"And your girlfriend for a beer?"

"Yeah, if he did that, his clown arms wouldn't be anymore."

"Could we fuse them onto $Stykera for the lulz?"

"Of course! That'd be awesome." Who couldn't agree with @martypunker there?

"So how would you rate MN@ life?" I had to ask, I'd spent almost an hour and a half with him. I had to escape before I became one of... Them.

"On a scale from 1 to 10, 10 being awesome, 20. Some of the coolest people are on the MN@ team. They kick so much e-booty."

"You hurt my feelings Mr.Punker."

"I'm sorry. You're some of the coolest people, too."

"Just remember, when you marry Sian, do it on the forums. Nothing says commitment like an e-wedding!" Oh, the weddings I've been a part of...

"Except maybe Herpes."

"Then you can be in commercials!"

"And that's the circle of happiness."

"Even for your little herpes-ridden children."

@martypunker nodded, and in true MN@ fashion, closed the interview. "/end. See? This is going to be the best interview you've ever done."

Best of the Forums!

Threads

[link]

Comments

Draw a swastika on your forehead. No one will ever notice the hickey. by =miss-ninja

what horse beating?!?!? well someone needs to make a fund for abuse of animals (any kind) by ~Chazychazgirl12

My vagina emits a weird smell occasionaly so it must be the evil seeping from it by =Security16

This change is so retarded, it could win the special olympics. by *aoitakara

February has to be short because its black history month. by *ReiKitten

It's not our fault that Saint Obama is manly enough to not be killed by a stingray. OH TOO SOONNNN? by ~Ithiel

YOU'RE NEVER HOPELESS WITH THE GRABIT! STRIP A SCREW? YOU BETTER HAVE OR YOU'D BE WASTING MONEY ON THIS THING, UNLESS YOU USE IT ON VAGINAS. HAHA WHAT? by *DarkIron

It's impossible for kids to have sex! This idiot keeps telling me that it's totally possible, but he's deluded and stupid. Penises aren't developed at ages fifteen and younger! How can they erect? Also vaginas are closed at that time so it's impossible. by !Her-dark-prince
^{-Special note from =CittensCollar: You're a huge idiot if you actually thought that thread wasn't a joke. Obvious troll spotting fail.}

apparently is a swear word? maybe my translator is broken? by *Schatten-Drache

Michael Vick would've had an all-arcanine-and-houndoom team. by =HisnameisDaveyoufool

One minute you're eating your gruel, and the next there's a motherfucking snake in your motherfucking cell!

My mother told me that when I was like five, I pointed to a black couple in line ahead of us at a grocery store and said quite loudly, "Look Mommy! It's the Jeffersons!" by *wazzdakka

Never keep your virginity in your back pocket by ~LOVEintheSNOW

STUPID COP IS ROBBING ME OF MY GOAL TO GET A SPEEDING TICKET ON MY BICYCLE. by =gaviD

They're just making sure that, as a lesbian, you're still getting your share of male sexual idiocy in your life. It's like a public service. by ~shininginthedarkness

Plz Account

Suggestion

DA Outgoing Link Gate by =Sonira

And finally...

The WORST

[link]

[link]

[link]

[link]

[link] (The weedy issue still rolls on)

[link] (Nostrodamus, is that you?)

[link] (Wow, someone mentions Australia)

[link] (How is this Politics)

[link]






Timmy's Pick of the Month:^{Powered by `timmy64} A skinny guy tried to eat a piece of my shoulder!

Odds & Ends

Past Forum Newsletters

A sticky created by lolly and updated by various staff members can be found here in the Deviants forum for all your past forum newsletter needs! Relive the memories you had of a time when `conorschild was still the master behind the news, and thank the staff for being so kind as to post them!

Forum Clubs!

If you want to keep up-to-date with some of deviantART's most popular forums, these clubs are a great place to start.

*DAPoliticalForum *DAComplaintsforum *DAMusicForum *DAReligiousForum

Submit comments & threads to the Newsletter!

Spot a hilarious thread or comment?
Think it deserves spotlight?
How about nominating a fellow forumer for the monthly feature?
Send a note to =bohobella and she'll see to it! Please include links to all threads and comments if possible.

When submitting threads, trolls, ban reports or comments try to include which it is: thread, ban, troll, comment or other, in the title of the note!

In the next issue...

A magical mystery tour of adventure and splenda!

Until next time, happy foruming!