The Forum Newsletter!

Ah, summer in the US of A. The forums become a scary time during the summerdays of the western hemisphere. If you're not entirely sure why, you're probably new to this newsletter. Well, we here at the newsletter are honoured that Summer 2009, we're your replacement for real-life friends. We won't take note of your name because summer break is only a couple months and soon your lolcow comments will be a thing of the past, to be seen in four years when the Forum Search can detect them.

The Forum News

THESE ARE DEAD CELEBRITIES

Ed, Farrah, Michael and Billy have all died. As if the forums haven't told you enough, thought we'd drill it into your head just one more time! DEAD DEAD DEAD DEAD!

Dave's Not Here, Man

Anyone who doesn't get the reference of that header, just leave. Now.

=HisnameisDaveyoufool is leaving Complaints. It gobbles time, something he's just noted. We must give him sympathy in his time of need, it's always hard when it hits you just how many hours you could have been having sex instead of fighting about abortions with other nerds.

Bidding's on to how long until he like everyone else crawls back. *cough*vernonabunchofnazietcetera*cough*

=HisnameisDaveyoufool's HAMLET

When your current forum literature seems to lack class, what better way to spruce it up (and make you feel like you're well-educated and totally not wasting valuable hours of life itself) than to go Shakespeare on forumers asses?

=HisnameisDaveyoufool is proud to bring us HAMLET. Could it be the first of many epic Shakespearian lolthreads? Check out all the details in Dave's journals and even sneaky peakies of how it'll all be playing out!

A beautiful cast has been laid out, including =SylverKitsune as Ophelia and yours truly as Hamlet Senior (aka Old King/Ghost/Hamlet I am Your Father), you better check out our actoring!

You're a ****phile.

Don't say the p-phile word or you might just get your ass banned. It happened to our !ShakeTheShame, and it could happen to you. For the full story, check out !ShakeTheShame's livejournal detailing it. Unfortunately, most of the argument that caused it happened in ~Schwarz-licht's journal that has since been deleted. The LiveJournal, however, can be found here: [link]

The Forumer Profiler with =CittensCollar!

Years ago, when I joined dA and stumbled across the forums, I immediately began to recognize the already-established regulars. Few of them are still around, but there is one thing that has never changed from the days that I was a newbie: Nekophoenix's flashy rainbow winged cat avatar. I certainly recall her saying, a few years back, that she intended on never changing it - and she hasn't. Anybody who has been in the forums for a few days will recognize the rainbow cat-with-wings icon.

Nekophoenix has been a member of dA for a whopping seven years. She joined in May 2002, when she was a tiny thirteen year old. Although she doesn't remember her first thread, she speculates that it was "probably a thread complaining about dAv3!". She had never really been involved in many forums before dA. Nekophoenix spends the majority of her time in Complaints, and although she usually enjoys the "cynical, angry and bitchy" atmosphere, she comments that at times people go too far. She says, "People act like arses to fit in, to get points for being "edgy", and general human emotions are chucked out the window for the sake of kudos for acting like a vicious shite." I can't say I disagree. She thinks that the forums have gotten more like /b/ and, although it’s just as harsh as it ever was, people are more heartless.

Unfortunately, we may not see much of Nekophoenix this summer, as she tends to avoid the forums during the summer invasion of junior high and high schoolers. She doesn't appreciate the endless supply of noobish questions and fake trolls.

Aside from being a regular in the forums, Nekophoenix is a stunning antrho artist. She has a unique style that is simply adorable. She has received two DD's, on [link] and [link] She is working toward a degree in art, and considers her art to be both for fun and money. In her words, "me and art have a love/hate relationship, and it can never be resolved". I'll leave that up to interpretation. Nekophoenix feels that although being on dA can put an artist in a comfort zone in which they never improve, it can also allow exposure to better artists and inspiration from those who do want to get better. Nekophoenix feels that being on dA has helped push her to becoming a better artist.

Off the forums, Nekophoenix lives in Ireland, which should be apparent to anyone who has seen her posts in the forums. She celebrated her 21st birthday on the 26th of June. She is owned by one cat, who she seems to feel bitter toward, referring to her as a "bitchface". We shouldn't talk about our masters that way!

Nekophoenix’s final words: “Never stay up 'til half 4 in the morning to try and do 20 drawings in one day. Just. Don't. You want to start talking jibberish and dancing in your seat to Calvin Harris with a paintbrush in your mouth, then fine, but otherwise - always go to bed.” Good words to live by.

Forumers CAN art! Featuring: Complaints HAMLET!

As we spoke of in the news, =HisnameisDaveyoufool gave birth to Hamlet again, but not like the film Hamlet 2 did - This time, it's Complaints Hamlet. Act I is already up!

Forum Phenomenums with =bohobella!

Forum Phenomenums, here to explain the regular, repetitive and hard to explain phenomenums of the forums we so love. From the latest memes to the oldest trolling in the books, here it's covered.

This month we're looking at the deaths of celebrities, and why so many people make threads as a result. As we've seen from the sudden death of many celebrities - Most notably Farrah Fawcett, Michael Jackson and Billy Mays - there can never be one single thread in memoriam.

It gives people a case of the warm fuzzies inside, the same warm fuzzies a goth kid gets when they buy a slew of Hot Topic clothing that makes them look spechulz or the same Bono gets when he turns on all the eco-friendly light fixtures he owns to simply bask in his environmentally friendliness.

To put it plain and simple, they feel special and unique!

The goal is to be the first. Much like the first post, this always results in several threads popping up that all seem certain that theirs is the first. It never is, though. Sadly, the first post of this type of thing tends to be along the lines of something titled "Mj IN COMMA?" and contains "is he ded or wut?? laaaawl"

We only hope that by bringing this to your attention, we can reduce the dumb thread slew after a celeb's death by at least one. Keep it to your journals when you have celeb deaths to exclaim over, or better yet, just shout it out louder than whoever told you it first - Chances are someone around you hasn't heard and they will be in awe over your knowledge.

Senior Senior's Adventures with `littlefishey!

Hello Babies,

Once upon a time,about seven years ago to be exact, a girl signed up for an account on a small art community website because she had heard the name and thought it sounded 'kinky'. She chose the name ~actionfish and was very excited to see what exactly was deviant about it.

She discovered that nothing was deviant about it. So she left.

Two years later she realised she'd forgotten her password and signed up again under the name `littlefishey and, this time armed with something other than the vague promise of porn, she settled into her new home, the Deviants Forum.

Five years on she's still there. That girl was me, except I'm not a girl, I'm an adult and often I wonder what the heck keeps me here, the answer is simple: idiots. OK, you're not all idiots, some of you are clever, witty, erudite and sharp, and I thank you for that, but it's the surprising threads that keep me coming back. The thing is that I've been a teenager, and I seemed to have a grasp of English back then, both spoken and written, so why do so many of the under 20's have such a problem with cogent sentences? I think I might have alienated some of you with the word cogent, this was deliberate.

Typing like you have hammers for hands and constantly asking 'Y dose u all hate furries' is entertaining to read and then settling back to see the sharks circling the poor floundering victim doubles my fun. Yes, we can be a little cliquey sometimes, but that's half the fun, it's like being in some sort of well punctuated gang and I'm sure every other forum has a band of rabid regulars too. I may come across as superior, pernickety, arrogant and a bit of a bully sometimes, but it's for your own good, learn your lesson, I'm old enough to be your mother, I know more than you do, it's that simple. But for every time I see the red mist descending there is another occasion where I feel pity for the innocent babies that have no clue and post their first 'Any 1 want 2 RP?' thread.

Why did I settle in Deviants? Well, Complaints scares me, no one in the Music Forum would have heard of anything I like (the stuff you young'uns like it just too loud), and Help With Life is just depressing. Deviants has subjects like 'Help, I made out with my sister' and 'ERGHGHBLARGHT!!! E-nun-see-ate ((spoof?))', we have motorbike riding furries, men with fetishes for women who have recently had airbags go off in their faces. We have 14 year olds who are already planning their Halloween costumes, free bible give-aways, and the still burning issue of whether Ninjas are better than Pirates. It's a freak show and it's all free.

So, there you are. This veteran of several summer invasions isn't going anywhere for the time being and is planning to mark her 40th Birthday by posting a thread that will instantly be locked.

Now all of you go off and play, go on, SCRAM! Get off of my lawn, dammit.

Interview!

`laurart's interview with ^Thebuild

1- I see you have your GM hat back on you. What made you decide you wanted it again ?

I was planning on working for a sculpture company (which would have left me with next to no time for being a GM) but after I finished a trial piece for them I wasn't sculpting at the level they wanted, so I've now got the time I decided to help out again.

And maybe now you can clear this rumour...Is it true that all the GMs have secret parties that involve weird chants and nudity?

No, none whatsoever.....








2- What have been some memorable times for you since you joined dA?

Posing in a dress quite a few sizes too small for me (I don't think anything I do from now on is going to top that )


3- I see bunnies in your avie, webcam and deviations. Could you please explain what’s your relation with them?

Sir, are you a furry?

I never knew what a furry was until I joined DA, I think a small part of me died when I found out.

It started ages ago, ~PinkAmaryllis called me a gym bunny and it kind of stuck after that, which explains all the suicide bunny avs.


4-When you joined dA and started using the forums, what things were new to you? Was there anything that took you by surprise because you had no idea it existed?

Just about everything was new back then, I had no idea when it came to posting threads, though I had enough common sense to avoid the pirate VS ninja ones. As for surprises I think everything was just new to me and so I went through a a phase of mass posting and very little thinking.


5. Sir, I’ve heard comments here and there about a certain picture of yours. Nobody wants to explain things to me but they say it has to do with a man called Richard wearing a dress and girl shoes. People simply call it “the picture”.

Could you explain what is that all about ?

I don't know what they're talking about....they must have me confused for someone else...

Oh fine here you go
[link]

And is it in any way connected to this: ?!
Not that plz again!

6. I’ve been told you had an encounter with the mysterious Dropbear. Many think it’s just an urban myth, so are you able to say it really exists?
And if you did meet him, what was it like?

I did once in Australia, that and having to use a toliet with a red back spider in it. It's not a pleasant memory, there was a smell like an unwashed dog and then a cracking sound of branches as this grey ball of claws and teeth came racing towards me from the top of a eucalyptus tree, luckily the one I encountered had poor sense of direction and landed through the windscreen of a passing Volvo. Not a creature I want to run into again.

7. I wouldn’t want to promote violence, but if you could send Dropbear to exterminate anyone from dA , who would that be?
Would it be someone from Canada?

I might send it to a certain someone in Canda, I still have his address after sending him a sculpt in the mail.

8- What would be worse for you:
a) To go a full week with no coffee,
b) To have a certain Argentinian midget post a picture of you in drag and get a DD on it, which would mean lots of creepy notes and comments for you,
c) To be run over by a truck

Probably B, there's plenty of other very unconvincing drag photos on the net I don't know why people keep fixating about mine!

9) You’ve achieved a lot in your time here, is there anything else you would like to see happen? Do you have any dA goal you’d like to make come true?

I don't really think I have a goal, I originally signed up so I could follow the work of Tim Collier, who does a lot of concept artwork, but he really isn't active. I suppose if I've got any goal it's just to enjoy myself, have fun and share a joke or two (unless the the source is me )

And about what you’ve already achieved, How did you do it? Tell us the secret about becoming a senior member and a GM , cause most people think you have to sleep with the staff to get it.

I don't know if there's any real secret (besides I live too far away from any of the $ team to sleep with them ) I sent $Moonbeam13 a note ages ago asking about the possibility of there being a GM for sculpture about 3-4 months before she opened the position and then applied for it when I showed up.

10) _{Off the record now...have you ever had a penguin burger?}

@Vlei tricked me into eating once!

It was so good though I think I would be willing to let him trick me into eating another one

Alicia in Forumland, by ~MPMG

~Chapter 1
In which our heroine is bearnapped.

A pale greenish glow illuminated the small room and its only inhabitant. Alicia Lewis sat hunched on her desk chair, staring at the computer screen with a frown on her face.
“...copypaste piece of shit... three hundred bloody favs,” she grumbled. “Stupid fangirls-”
A knock on the door halted her mutterings. “Alicia?”
Her mother’s head became visible in the light spilling from the now open door.
“Honey, I wish you’d keep the light on. Your poor eyes.“ Since Alicia had only heard that comment a million or so times before she cheerfully ignored it. “Anyway,” her mother continued. “It’s time for bed. I’m not dragging you to school in the morning because you stayed up all the night again.”
“Sure, mum. I’m almost done anyway.” With a satisfied smirk on her face the blonde girl pressed the report button. Three fast clicks later and Alicia was turning off the computer, ready to change into her pyjamas and call it a night.
When she got back to her room Alicia noticed that the computer was still on. And a browser window with the familiar green DeviantArt homepage covered the screen. Alicia kicked the door closed behind her and walked up to the computer.
“I could have sworn I closed it.” She muttered.
She dragged the pointer to the x in top right corner to shut the window down, but nothing happened. Frustrated she clicked it again. And again. At the fourth click the entire screen turned black. Then the most dreaded shade of blue in the universe appeared.
“Noooo!” Alicia wailed. “You’re almost new! Don’t start doing that.”
She bent her head to get a closer look at the disaster. Did it want more memory or-. Hang on. She did a double take as she read the first lines That’s not what it usually said, right?

_{A danger has been detected and Windows has been shut down to prevent
damage to your computer, sanity and underwear.
If this is the first time you have this "error!", rejoice.
If this screen appears again follow these steps:
All open windows (and doors) should be closed.
If you’ve recently downloaded porn, ask your “hardware” or “software” “manufacturer” for any “updates” you might “need”.
Don’t attempt to uninstall anything. It won’t work. And the thing you uninstalled won’t work either.
If you need to use the safe mode, you will find there aren’t one.
Press the F-8 [Fate] key if you think you can handle the truth.
Or run. Not a program. You. Run now.
He’s coming.}

The blue started to fade, turning brown. Brown as in a brown bear. A brown teddy bear to be precise. Alicia blinked. There was a bear occupying her screen. If this was a new virus...
At first glance the bear looked all kinds of normal. Black button eyes, soft fuzzy ears, cute pink nose, but the look on its face... It looked like it wanted to eat her.
“Oh, my,” the bear said with a surprisingly deep voice. “Aren’t you the cutest thing.” Alicia pulled her head back from the screen at the unexpected sound. “No, no, don’t think you can get away with that, you little tease.“ With that comment, and a mad grin, the teddy bear reached out and pulled Alicia into the screen

Comments

Hitler knew the only way he could truly conquer the world was through deviantART. by =CardBoard-LeMur
Calling gay couples "couples" would demean the sanctity of couplehood! by ~Tenshi-Fuzion
It'll be your problem when they'll suddenly stop having periods. by =Aldarune
True men go to Valhalla. by ~UltraBeavis
I condemn you to Help With Life! by =Aldarune
Cosmetic Flypaper by =Foxbane
Of all the what the fuck moments in my life, this takes the cake by *Agent-Sarah
I should be an event planner. I'd make all the panels really dry and boring, but flank the speakers with strippers and crank up the trance at key moments. by $Stykera
DID YOU HEAR? JOHN MCCAIN HAS JUST BEEN BORN! by `Navagon
I had [an erection] at a funeral once. The widow was smokin hot. by =Vynnx
Then Space Jesus came down and added active dry yeast from the future. Godzilla lit a fart into the cave and the rest, they say, is history. by =HisnameisDaveyoufool
Your step-mom is a bitch you should step on. by =Aldarune
Your step-mom is a bitch you should step on. by ~sbkMulletMan

Plz Account

And finally...

The WORST

why do people care avout lions by ~spucko




Timmy's Pick of the Month:^{Powered by `timmy64} "For the love of god, give the dead woman some love! ...Wait, that's not what I meant! Put the shovels down!" by *Agent-Sarah

Odds & Ends

Past Forum Newsletters

A sticky created by lolly and updated by various staff members can be found here in the Deviants forum for all your past forum newsletter needs! Relive the memories you had of a time when `conorschild was still the master behind the news, and thank the staff for being so kind as to post them!

Forum Clubs!

If you want to keep up-to-date with some of deviantART's most popular forums, these clubs are a great place to start.

*DAPoliticalForum *DAComplaintsforum ~DAMusicForum *DAReligiousForum

Submit comments & threads to the Newsletter!

Spot a hilarious thread or comment?
Think it deserves spotlight?
How about nominating a fellow forumer for the monthly feature?
Send a note to =bohobella and she'll see to it! Please include links to all threads and comments if possible.

When submitting threads, trolls, ban reports or comments try to include which it is: thread, ban, troll, comment or other, in the title of the note!

In the next issue...

The newsletter begins it's countdown 'till the teen-free days return.

Until next time, happy foruming!

_{We ~LOVEintheSNOW}