OK, Twilite fangurlz R outta control now...
Here are some cases from [link]...


Fan Girls Out Of Control.
« Thread Started on Feb 24, 2009, 5:14pm »

OK, I don't hate Twilight. But I'm not in love with it either. Heres what happened. At lunch today every single girl at the table is talking about Twilight. I try to tell them about the crazed fan girl attacks that have been going on lately (which is making me dislike the series more and more). One of the girls actually tried to talk some sense into ME! She tried to explain that the Fan girls were just angry. And I said, "If people who don't like Twilight, get on obsessed fan girls nerves that much Twilight should be destroyed!" Some of the girls at my table understood. Some got really pissed. One of the girls marched off steaming. I thought I had made my point. But of course in Algebra I went to go sharpen my pencil, and that girl who marched off was in my class. she came up behind me and tried to slit my throat with a shank! She screamed "How dare you say Twilight should be destroyed!" Now, I had to do something. So I took my pencil out of the sharpener and stabbed her in the side (thank god i had already sharpened my pencil or she wouldn't have felt the stab). She lost concentration for a second or two, so she could look at the pencil sticking out of her. Without such a strong grasp, i was able to break free. By now students were restraining her as she kicked and screamed. She was expelled, but I got after school detention for defending myself (our principal is a ass)! If you were about to die, Would you fight back? So I'm talking over the detention with my idiot principal, back to the matter at hand, Has the world gone mad? Its a book! Nobody should obsess like that. I mean god! She tried to kill me! Because I said that the fan girls are really hurting people? That just proves my point.



I was pushed down stairs for disliking the series.
« Thread Started on Jan 8, 2009, 8:43pm »
Yep, you read right
. It was during school and I was talking to a friend about all the rabid fangirls in the school and how terrible the book is.

I guess she overheard because she stormed up to me, yelled, "Fuck you, you're just jealous 'cause you can't write as great as Stephanie Meyer!" And then she shoves me down the stairs I had just climbed. She's lucky someone three steps down caught me, or I would have sued the fangirlishness right out her ass. She got three detentions and a Saturday school.

Christ these girls are crazy.


My Friend is attacked
« Thread Started on May 17, 2009, 12:13am »
I went to my friend Conner's house yesterday. We started playing on his XBox 360, and we played so much, his mom gave us money just to get out of the house a little. But then she said she needed some groceries and she was really busy, so she told us to pass by the convenience store by the lake to get some bread and stuff like that.

So we merrily walked over there and went in the store. Conner realized he dropped his cellphone outside the store by accident. So he walks out the store to get it, while I stay inside. I decide to be nice and get the groceries for him while he's getting his phone. As I walk over to an aisle, I stop and hear shouting outside.

I look out the store's window, and see Conner getting HIT by a girl's twilight book! I run outside to break it up, but Conner kicked the girl away and her twilight book fell in the lake. The random girl started yelling cuss words at him and stuff about Stephenie Meyer, and slaps him on his forehead. Then she just stormed off sobbing, forgetting about her book. I didn't really have anything to do, so I just threw a ball of paper I found on the ground at her. The book sank into the water and basically dissolved before we could actually get a picture.

Conner told me that when he was gonna get his phone, the girl just randomly walked up to him holding twilight, and asked "Do you like this series?"

Conner is sort of rude, so he promptly said, "No, I read it and I think it's awful. Also, sparkling vampires are just retarded."

The girl then started hitting him with her book. It wasn't very hard though, so no injuries were done.

This morning I was taking a walk and I saw my friend. He said in the newspaper that the same girl he saw committed suicide, and started laughing. But that part is bullshit because I read our local newspaper and it didn't say anything about that.

I do not have any evidence of this. Since there were no marks on my friend, there was nothing to take a picture of. And, as I stated, the girl's book sunk to the bottom of the lake before we could take a picture.

Wow, I didn't realize this became a wall of text. I e-salute you if managed to read the entire thing.



She was in TEARS...
« Thread Started on Feb 9, 2009, 6:41am »
Alright, so it happened that I had nothing to do on the release night of Breaking Dawn. I went over to Border's to eat the free snacks, and eventually decided to troll the release party.

Not the most mature thing ever, I know. But I hoped they'd take it in good humor. I was wrong.

I am shamefully well-versed in the series, since my two best friends are utterly obsessed with it. So I penciled out a sign that said "TEAM JACOB" and laid in wait for the fangirls.

Oh boy did I get one. A skinny blonde girl, half a foot shorter than me, walks up and goes "hey, Jacob is a douche!" And the argument began. It went roughly like:
"oh? And why would you say that?"
"He doesn't care about Bella!"
"One, Bella is boring. I wouldn't care about Bella if I was him. Two, yes, he actually does. Trying to prevent her from hanging around with a bloodsucking monster? Sounds pretty caring to me..."
"Well, well, Edward is Bella's soulmate and he protects her. He's not a monster!"
"He has the horrible temptation to eat her every time she's in a fifty foot radius."
"But, but he resists temptation because he luuuuuurves [I kid you not, that is how she pronounced it] her!"
"He doesn't love her."
"Excuse me?"
"Edward and Bella don't love each other. Teenagers don't experience love--"
"Edward's not a teenager!"
"--and pedophiles only experience sexual pull."
I'm trolling hard. I've got a big grin on my face, and she's getting steadily more pissed.
"Edward's not a pedoph
ile!"
"He was turned into a vampire during the whole spanish influenza epidemic around 1918. That means he's been alive for over a hundred years."
"But he looks like a teenager!"
"Would you do it with your grandpa if he looked seventeen?"
"I--"
"No, probably not. Keep your creepy ass sparkly wish-fulfilling--umph." I say umph because she kicked me full on in the nards.

It's difficult to explain to a girl how it feels to get kicked in the nuts. It's about halfway between breaking your wrist and getting a really bad bruise. I look up, she's crying, and I sqeak out a falsetto "that was--umph."

SHE DID IT AGAIN.

SHE KICKED ME TWICE IN THE NADS FOR BASICALLY NO REASON.

And then she had the gall to say "you're just jealous of Edward! You're never gonna get a girlfriend!" And then she went over, high-fived a friend of hers, and shot me a smug look and stuck her tongue out.

I talked to the management. Management talked to her. She lied and said I was making sexual advances on her, and I got banned from Borders. I debated raising a gigantic stink about it, but the surveillance camera would confirm her story more than mine.

So I staggered home and spent the next day and a half trading out frozen goods from the freezer to my lap.

TL;DR: Twilight got me banned from the only bookstore in my hometown and possibly made me sterile. Thoughts?


STOP THROWING BOOKS.
« Thread Started on Dec 17, 2008, 7:10pm »
Hi, I'm fairly new. I've lurked for a while, seeing that I have nothing really interesting to post other than my hate and loathing for the Twatlight series, but today changed that. I'm taking this from an entry on LiveJournal I made. /:

So I'm finally feeling better (sweet!) and after school I walked to the library before going home (It's two blocks away from my house, so I just went instead of waiting for my mom to get home at five) to get something to read, seeing rereading isn't as enjoyable when you start remembering everything that happens.

Well, I get there, and I make my way to the Young Adult section only to come across a shrine to, yeah, you guessed it, Twilight. I stood there for a second and glared before shaking my head to continue to the Young Adult's section. A libraian lady behind me (scared the shit out of me- I didn't see her there) asked me, "You've read the book?" I sighed and nodded, "Unfortunatly." "I'm assuming you didn't like it?" "Not at all." The libriain nodded and I was like *OH GOD SOMEONE WHO AGREES. HOLYSHIT*.

I said bye and walked over to the shelves with some classic stuff on it, when this girl corners me. I didn't notice her (too busy reading 'The Last Unicorn' lulz) until a hardcover flies an inch short of my nose.

"What was that for?" I asked, looking up at her. "How can you NOT like Twilight? You must be an IDIOT!" I didn't know whether to laugh or to cry for the sake of this generation but I didn't have time for either when she threw another hardcover at me. I deflected it with 'The Last Unicorn' and finally noticed she was blocking my only exit and she had an unlimited amount of books to throw. (Basically we were inbetween two rows of books, a wall and she was blocking the entrance)

The only things I got out was "Do I KNOW you!?" and a various amount of curse words. She continued to toss books, a couple hitting me (Ow. Ow ow owwww.) ranting the entire time. All I remember is parts of what she said... something like... "Your an idiot with not taste in REAL literate! How DARE you offend Stephenie with your EXISTANCE! You don't understand Twilight's DEPTH that's why your and IDIOT! You'll never fall inlove and you'll be fat and lonely! Your a bitch with no chest and no one likes you! How can you NOT like Twilight!? You stupid whore! I hope you DIE!" (Yes, I'm pretty sure she was related to the deathly dark world.)

Well, I finally cursed loud enough ("HOLY FUCK- YOU PSYCHO BITCH STOP THROWING SHIT AT ME! GODDAMNIT THAT HURTS!!! FUCK, FUCK HELP!!!") that a nearby librarin arrived on the scene and grabbed the girl and getting another librarin to take said girl away. One of the ladies asked me if I was okay I just said yes, ran over to check out The Last Unicorn and got the fuck out of there.

...HOLY TWILIGHT FANGIRLS ARE BATSHIT INSANE AND GETTING MORE VIOLENT BY THE DAY, BATMAN!


Twitard pushed me into wall at school!
« Thread Started on Mar 2, 2009, 5:57pm »
As you can see from the title, a Twitard has done it again.

It happened last Friday, the last day of the school week thank goodness for that. O.O I was about to start gym, and I was in the locker room minding my own business, when I heard these annoying prissy girls in the row next to mine talking about how "Edward Cullen is so hot!" I seriously do not like Twilight, and it's fans grind my nerves more than the book does, and I also have kind of an attitude, so I got up, and walked past the girls making sure to take a look at their ever present Twilight book, and rolled my eyes. Well one of the girls, who I know around (she's a bitch, no surprise), named Laureyn, saw my display of dislike and called me out on it. She was like, "what's that supposed to mean?" towards me, and I flat out told her that I hated Twilight and it's so called "romance", and that Edward is an abusive, woman-hating prick who only wants Bella to release his sexual tensions on like a sex toy. All the girls had their mouths open, and Laureyn then made sure to tell me, that I was "going to regret saying that."
So it came gym time, and we were playing indoor soccer because it was raining outside and our gym is pretty large. Laureyn was on the opposite team. We were trying to get the ball when, all of a sudden, Laureyn grabs me and practically THROWS me into the side gym wall, and a hit the side of my head and fell on my left ankle, and heard a crack. The gym teacher who is also a raging bitch who hates me because I can't keep up as easily, came over to me and I tried to tell her that I heard a crack. She kept saying to me that I didn't, even though I did. I've never broken, sprained, or twisted anything in my life and the numbing sensation had started, so I was freaking out cause of it's unfamiliarity. The gym teacher made me, now get this, hop fucking three hallways and two doors to the nurse, with only another girl from my team who I didn't know to brace me.
I got there, and I told the nurse what had happened, including Laureyn pushing me deliberately, and guess what she says to me? "Well, she was just playing the game." [link].
To make a long story short, the nurse called my mom and she came up there, and we got in a fight with the principal and he said that, "girls will be girls" and that it was an accident, and I was lying for saying it was over a "silly" book. So now my mom's thinking of taking the school and the girl to court over this, because the school has a policy that states that no student is allowed to hurt another student, and if they do, it's grounds for immediate expulsion, which they didn't do. Oh yeah, and I broke my ankle in a rare place, and apparently my foot will never be the same again. Woo.


TwiTard + flying backpacks = this
« Thread Started on Jan 6, 2009, 7:41am »
I'm very new to the site, just joined today after I heard about this place from BigAl2k6 (a very good ranter on YouTube). Okey doke, time to make this board fulfill its purpose.

I'm a junior in high school, and I like to think that I'm a reasonable guy, usually pretty fair and forgiving. In physics class, a few weeks ago, I was just goofing around since physics is my last class of the day and there were only a few minutes left. Now, the TwiTard in question already hated my guts before-hand for the sole reason of me being a werewolf zealot, and says that I wasted money on the silver wolf jewelry that I wear (as opposed to wasting it on Twilight merchandise, but that's only my guess). Anyway, she took her seat, which is across from me, and pulls out one of the Twilight books. I see the book out of the corner of my eye, I look at it for a split second (I forget which one it is now, unfortunately), keeping a rather indifferent look on my face, and just go back to talking to a friend of mine. The girl across from me apparently took it as a look of disgust and asked me "Have you even read Twilight?". Now, I wasn't going to lie, I haven't read any of the Twilight books, and probably never will, because sparkly vampires and romance novels really aren't my thing. I told her that I hadn't, and she just looked at me for a few seconds. She calmly put the book back into her bag and got up. I thought she was about leave, but my bag had been on the table at the time. It had three textbooks, several notebooks, and tons of papers in it at the time. She somehow picks my bag up so quickly that I didn't even know the bag was gone until she threw it at me. The bag hit me in the head, leaving quite a lovely bruise, and she proceeds to start throwing whatever else she can get her hands on at me, including several pairs of scissors that, thankfully, didn't end up stabbing me. She ended up being dragged away by the teacher, but manages to yell "How the hell can you not have read Twilight, you werewolf-loving mother fucker?!" (What she actually said was much more vulgar).


Back to me:
ROBERT PATTINSON, I HATE YOU!!!!!
SMEYER, TOO! I KNOW YOU WON'T HAVE ANY IDEA ABOUT HOW POPULAR WILL YOUR BOOK BE BUT DO SOMETHING ABOUT YOUR FANGIRLS OR MURDERS WILL OCCUR JUST BECAUSE OF THAT STUPID BOOK OF YOURS!


ANYONE, CARE TO JOIN ME AND STOP THIS TWILIGHT FLU!?!?!
COME ON! R U CHICKEN!?!?!