1. Hygiene
Guys, we are stinky. No matter how you look at it, we're just smellier animals than women. Wear a little deodorant - and not too much. You're trying to stop people detecting you have a smell, not alerting them to the fact you smell like a aerosol can factory.
A shower goes a long way, too.
Also brush your teeth, use mouthwash, and chew gum after eating (but not when you're already hitting on the girl, you dope).

2. Fashion
Don't mix black with bright, pastel colours, because they cancel out each others impact.
Don't wear all black, you'll look like a tool. Even if you're goth! You can do better!
If you wear a dark top, wear light pants.
If you wear a light top, wear dark pants.
And if you wear a button up shirt (which you should, in my opinion), don't do the top button up, you'll look like a school boy. But don't undo the second button, you'll look like a cheap man slut.
If you feel the need to accessorize, keep it to a minimum. Scarves, jewelery, hats, hanging chains, studded belts... Pick one. You're not a return-to-sender grade catalog.
Its all common sense, really.

3. Image
Don't slouch.
Don't. Fucking. Slouch.
And if you have to do something with your hair, don't stop all the time to play with it. You vain little shit.

4. Have Fun
So great, now you're here (wherever that is), and theres some sexy ladies who are clearly attracted to you because you followed my neat guide.
Stop! Stop trying to hit on any of them!
No cheap pick up lines, no bribery with drinks and gifts, no shortcuts. Talk to them. Like human beings talk to each other. Find some common ground, talk about them, take a compliment. And don't think about getting laid (much) the whole evening.
And heres a neat trick! If a girl asks you something like "how does my dress look?", always say something like "It really goes well with the colour of your hair", or "It matches your eyes". Anyone can wear a dress, but you have to give them a reason to feel they look good in it.

5. Expect Nothing
If you're not sure about a girl, she just isn't worth it. You'll never regret anything more than going out with a kinda-ugly girl. Or a selfish, money-grubbing cow. Or an alien parasite masquerading as a hot babe with a good personality.

6. Sub-Text
Finally, as time goes on, and they've gotten to know what a super cool ripoff of me you are, one will let slip some kind of important comment! Learn to read between the lines!
Contrary to popular belief, girls LIKE boys, and girls LIKE getting kissed by boys (among other things), too. If you can't tell when a girl is interested, evolution never meant for you to get any.

Hey, and then one of you can invite the other to get a gelato or something. It doesn't really matter who asks who, so go ahead.



Congratulations, you just probably maybe picked yourself up a woman! Good for you!
Now don't screw it up!