1. The Decision
This is the last straw! deviantArt has robbed you of your time, your dignity, and your girlfriends interest in you for the last time! Its time to put your foot down and log out forever! And this time... You mean it!

2. The Announcement
Post a journal announcing your permanent departure from the website. Highlight all the bad times you've had, and why this relationship has turned as moldy as deviantArts green background. Don't forget to add hateful comments about staff who have wronged you by doing their job; friends who have failed to live up to your expectations; and how your talent is being suffocated in this communal pit.
Fail to mention, of course, that you keep in touch with half of your friends through dA, and that leaving will cause a big hassle when you wanna talk to them all.

3. The Action
Click log-out. If you're really serious, purge your entire gallery, unwatch everyone, delete all evidence you ever existed and add some extra spite to that journal of yours. You've had enough!

4. The Silence
Sit in your computer chair, wondering what you ever actually DID on the internet besides use deviantArt.

5. The Distraction
Browse any of the following sites, for several hours at a time:
4chan. SomethingAwful. YouTube. Facebook. ConceptArt.
Remember you have MySpace and Bebo accounts. Update those for the first time in two years (...speaking of which...).
Remember you have PaperDemon, SheezyArt, Storm-Artists and NewGrounds accounts. Update those for the first time in four years.
Remember you have a blog. Re-read all the dramatic drizzle you spouted as a teenager.

6. Concede Defeat
The internet just isn't as good now that you've abandoned you main reason for being there. Man, are you dumb.

7. The "Check-In"
Log back into dA. Just for 5 minutes. There'll be messages waiting for you, after all.
You have 200 new messages? That won't take THAT long.
Surely!
Right?
Totally.
Yeah...
...

8. The "I Really Mean It This Time!" Maneuver
Angry at yourself for being weak, log out again. You really, really mean it this time. Change your password to a string of numbers, write it down, and get someone else to hide it. Become determined not to return under any circumstances.

9. The Addiction
Log in with one of your alternate accounts. Catch up on some messages. See what people are up to. You don't need your account! Really!
If you DID delete your gallery, the guide probably ends for you here; an active member under a new alias.

10. The Return
Nope.
You just couldn't do it.
You made up an excuse to be there (an important announcement!), rummaged through your friends things, found the password, and here you are again. Poor, poor you.

And that, friends, is how to quit deviantArt.