The LOL Corner

This regular news article promises to make you giggle, chortle, and laugh your ass off.

Every edition will feature a collection of the funniest chat network quotes.

dAmnIt! is a database of funny quotes submitted by deviants like you.

dAmnIt! has reached over 20,000 quotes!!!

When something funny happens in a chatroom, share it with everyone! It only takes a few clicks, and while you're there browse through all the other hilarious quotes!

Feel free to note me with suggested dAmnIt! quotes to go into the next edition. Please make sure that the quote has already been submitted and approved to dAmnIt! and that you give me the quote number in your note.

The Last 10 Editions:
One Year Special Edition

Edition Fifty-Eight
Edition Fifty-Nine
Edition Sixty
Edition Sixty-One
Edition Sixty-Two
Edition Sixty-Three
Edition Sixty-Four
Edition Sixty-Five
Edition Sixty-Six
Edition Sixty-Seven

The Link

Above each quote you can find a link to the quote. This will show you who submitted the quote and give you the opportunity to it if you enjoyed it, a newer feature to dAmnit!. It also makes it easier to share quotes with friends.

The Quotes

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<Mollinda> My friend's 4 year old son poked a spider for me today to check if it was dead. He said it was sleeping. I assume that means dead... but I was SO PROUD


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00:15:36 <kalany> Now I have this urge to dye my underarm hair in a very, very small rainbow


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<Tessombra> why is it Amy's last day?
<AndaluBee> she's going to Germany
<Tessombra> they have computers there, does she know that?


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19:32:05 <zombierap21> eskirinabsolute: well,maybe if i do simple words and them more hard sentences i could be my words more "understables"


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<Hanratty-Stock> TODAY I AM BEING A MILK FLOAT
<Raini-Tempest> Hanratty-Stock: DO YOU HAVE TO TIE A BALLOON TO A COW TO GET A MILK FLOAT?
<Hanratty-Stock> NO IT IS A CAR
<Raini-Tempest> CARS FLOAT?
<Hanratty-Stock> NO A MILK FLOAT
<Raini-Tempest> BUT YOU SAID IT WAS A CAR?
<Raini-Tempest>
<Hanratty-Stock> WELL YES LIKE A CAR BUT CRAPPER
<Raini-Tempest> SO IT'S A TOILET NOW?
<Raini-Tempest> I DON'T WANT A MILKY FLOATING CRAPPER
<Hanratty-Stock> NU


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** PrepareForImpact has joined
<catluvr2> BOOM
** PrepareForImpact has left [connection closed]


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<hazelnutx> bellchild: I dun have a job so I sit on my hiney
<Gulivar> Come and work in my sweatshop making Nike sneakers, hazelnutx. <3
<hazelnutx> lovey: okies..
<Gulivar> Payrates are highly competitive.
<Gulivar> $200 an hour.
<Gulivar> $500 for weekends.
<hazelnutx> lol
<Gulivar> $1000 overtime.
<hazelnutx> lovey: O.o
<Gulivar> $5000 holiday bonus.
<Gulivar> And you get to take $3.2 billion for retirement.
<Gulivar> 99% of all your earnings will be taxed, though. And you won't get rebates.
<Gulivar> All of it goes into my offshore Swiss bank account.
<Gulivar> Half of it comes out for my yearly holiday in sunny Bermuda.
<bellchild> Gulivar: Ouch.
<bellchild> Gulivar: I almost applied!
<Gulivar> Every 2 years, I'll be off to decimate the wildlife in the African interior, though!
<TheSprunk> Gulivar:
<Gulivar> I'll bring back one of the old White Rhino heads.
<Gulivar> To hang above the mantle, you know.
<Gulivar> I'm told it's the current fad amongst the peerage.
<TheSprunk> Gulivar: Who doesn't like Rhino head?
<Gulivar> TheSprunk: Exactly!


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<cloude> this is far less exciting sober
<cloude> someone inject me with vodka and lemon


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06:30:08 pm <Thumbbot>
[#17250] what is a male ass
[Category: Uncategorized | Hits: 20 | Misses: 6]
You have 45 seconds to answer.
06:30:08 pm <Thaigger> thnx
06:30:10 pm <bingoaname> mule
06:30:12 pm <cynthiasilcott> donkey
06:30:15 pm <cynthiasilcott> steed
06:30:17 pm <Thaigger> my bf


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<Umime5Ocean>rarw
<Umime5Ocean>rarw
<Umime5Ocean>rwa
<Umime5Ocean>raw
<Umime5Ocean>rarw
<Umime5Ocean>rawr
<Umime5Ocean>I GOT IT!


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<xxSinUchihaxx> I cut my armpit with a fork


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<xxSinUchihaxx>THE SHIT IS BANANAS
<xxSinUchihaxx>B
<xxSinUchihaxx>A
<xxSinUchihaxx>B
<xxSinUchihaxx>SHIT


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11:15:02 am <TheCyanDragon> In Oklahoma, it's illegal to fish WHALE. Think about that for a bit.


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* MC-Frizzle is in love with that domain
<Nesi> MC-Frizzle: Why don't you marry it?
<MC-Frizzle>
<MC-Frizzle> I'm doing that tomorrow.
<Nesi> "I pronounce you a husband and domain. You may kiss.html the site."


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<GoaliGrlTilDeath> holy hell this thing vibrates
<Ardeidae> That's what she said.


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<Lemonade4Jessa> OpalMist: I have to do a yoga salute to the sun every morning
<OpalMist> Lemonade4Jessa: You have to?
<Lemonade4Jessa> OpalMist: Drama teacher orders it.
<MadHatterEvo> Lemonade4Jessa: A one-finger salute isn't enough?


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09:19:25 am * exzes sits and faps
09:19:29 am <exzes> *flap
09:19:32 am * exzes sits and flaps


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** hustlerdu has joined
<hustlerdu> fuck this bullshit
<hustlerdu> fuck this
<hustlerdu> fuck
<hustlerdu> wtf
<hustlerdu> hi
<hustlerdu>
** hustlerdu has left [connection closed]
<yorkey-sa> emotional issues, that one