<sub>Breast Cancer survivors.

An interview with who is brave enough to share her story with us.
First may I say I am not a journalist nor I pretend to be. I was aware of her battle here on dA and she was wonderful on accepting to have this conversation. It was hard, I know. She is the center of this story as so many others are on related affairs.
Show her some love and respect her strength.</sub>




How many times have you seen spring?
I have seen spring 10 wonderful times and I take each moment in, as if it were my last. I am 56 years old.

How did you react to the news?
I did the right thing having my mammograms every year. They found an irregularity as they called it on my right breast and said they wanted to watch it. No further testing was done, just come back every six months and have another mammogram. On my second visit there were no changes so they told me to come back in a year. Within that year a lump formed on my right breast almost over night. I went to the doctor's immediately and was referred to a surgeon. He took a sample and told me to come back in a week. During this office visit I asked what the results were, scarred beyond belief. He ruffles through his papers and looks me in the eye and says, "you have cancer." "No I don't!" I said. He looks even more serious and says, "yes you do and it is in stage 3B." He stands up abruptly and says "who is your doctor?" He then calls my doctor and starts yelling at her for her neglect of my care. "This shouldn't of happened if they were watching you." he said. While all this was going on around me. I couldn't move, couldn't think straight. I guess this is what they call shock. When I could form a question, the first question I could think of was, "how long do I have?" He said, "without treatment 8 months to a year."

Did you tell your partner, family, friends?
I was not involved in a relationship at the time but was raising my son as a single mom. My son was 14. The first person I went to right out of the doctors office was my best friend. We cried together and figured out the best way to tell my son. My sister called while I was there and my friend told her what was going on. She then asked my sister if she wanted to talk to me and my sister said no. Family and friends reaction to this devastating news was very hurtful for me. I have come to realize that most people think, if it isn't acknowledged then it isn't real. Everyone has different coping mechanisms.

Do you remember your sessions with doctors? Did they explain your treatment process?
Oh! yes, vividly. I was sent right out of the doctors office to visit with an oncologist, and the radiation dept. When I went to the oncologists office, I was abandoned in a small room for an hour it seemed by myself. It took all that I had to maintain my position. When he finally came in I was given several options and treatment procedures. I then went to the radiation dept. and they took my blood pressure. The nurse looked at me after reading the pressure and said, "you were just told weren't you?" She then said, "the last place you want to be right now is here, go! and make another appointment when you feel up to it." I could have kissed her. I ran out of that office so fast and It seems like I haven't stopped running since.

Was there an escalation in your condition?
Yes! because of the stage cancer I was in and was told that it was a very aggressive, I had to make some very fast decisions. My oncologist thought I ought to have a lumpectomy and my surgeon thought I should have the breast removed. A very difficult decision indeed!

How did you cope with this ordeal?
Funny that you should ask. I was told by one of my doctors, and I can't tell you which one, to go find myself some pot and tote up. So, I did. I found that it quieted my fears a little and just that alone helped me so much.

Mastectomy how difficult was it?
Well, after some serious research, I decided to have a bilateral mastectomy. My overall decision was based on the fact that I never wanted to come back and do this again. As I stated before, I was not involved in a relationship at the time so I did not have that to consider. My only consideration was living.

Did you look at yourself differently?
Although I didn't realize it at the time, yes I did. I had to put these gel shape breasts into a special bra every morning and take them off again at night and put them on a shelf. I couldn't stand it after awhile so, I stopped putting them on and went without. I couldn't find woman's clothing made without darts so my style of clothing changed also. People started to stare and whisper. I kept telling myself it was o.k., but is wasn't. My oncologist who is the love of my life told me I should see a plastic surgeon and consider having implants. I did, and it was the best decision I could have ever made. Although the process was extremely difficult, it was totally worth it.

People actually noticed it? That's incredible...
You can't help but notice. When your breast or breasts are removed, it leaves a concave appearance. One would think that it would look like a regular chest but it doesn't . Without breasts your belly sticks out more.

Were involved in any support group? Are you in any way active in awareness programs or in your private relations? Have you met any other women who went through the same ordeal?
I did involve myself in a support group, but they weren't very supportive in my opinion. Don't get me wrong please. Support groups are awesome and it allows you to relate to others in the same situation. I just don't play well with others. I'm way to outspoken for most to handle. For an example: Members both men and woman in this support group were really curious about plastic surgery and if they should have it done and what it would look like. I had the same concerns when I was considering implants. So, I lifted my shirt and showed them! Curiosity abated so, I thought. My plastic surgeon was awesome! I did not opt to have the nipples put on as it is a very delicate graph. If you walked in a room where people were smoking, the small blood vessels that would feed the graph would shrink and kill the graph. I know a lot of people who smoke so I decided not to take that chance. I have seen other women who had successful graphs and you would never know it.
I use to be the breast and cervical Cancer outreach specialist for a local hospital. This program was designed to first: make others aware and second: to inform others how important it is to have breast exams and mammograms done regularly. Unfortunately, they dropped the funding.
Whenever I get the opportunity, such as this, I try to help. No one knows until one is faced with such an ordeal. This is another reason why I dropped the support group. I saw no forward movement in helping recently diagnosed women or men. And in my opinion, this is when they need the support most.
I have met other women who have had one breast removed or a lumpectomy. I have never met anyone who opted to have both breasts removed. There are many though.

What is your best advise to other women who are going through this dreadful experience?
My best advice is: Kick the MF out! Unfortunately, cancer is bad cells that have mutated and continue to mutate and your immune system cannot get them under control. My best advice is: take all the love that is given and absorb it like a sponge. Tell your body every chance you get to get rid of the unwanted. Vision yourself in perfect health even though you don't feel like it. Rest, rest, rest, ignore the pressures of daily living and accept help graciously. Choose a great team of doctors that you 'feel' good with and have an immediate connection with. They are your best defense against this horrible disease. Don't and I mean don't equate your femininity with your breasts, we are much more than that. Even if society tells us different. Drink water, water, water and then drink some more. If you are undergoing chemotherapy, you need to drink water to wash these chemicals out of your system. They go in and have already done the job by the time you leave the doctors office. Go home, have some vanilla ice cream, rest and drink, drink, drink. This is the best advice I can give. It was given to me by my home nurse and people told me while I was undergoing 6 rounds of the most toxic chemicals that a body can endure, that I never looked so good. Go figure! By the time I had my last chemotherapy treatment, the effects were minimal. Let your doctors know everything that your feeling.. They have a pill for it, especially nausea. Don't worry about what others feel or do, it is all about you right now.

What is your best advise to teenage girls?
With all the research I have done on this subject, the best advice I can give is: stay away from anti-perspirants. Do not use them. The first ingredient is aluminum and aluminum is highly carcinogenic, cancer causing agent. Everyone is conditioned by the idiot box believing it is some kind of sin to have an odor. Were human, we stink sometimes, so what. The companies that sell deodorants do this only to sell their product. Most of us take this toxic chemical and put it under our arms every morning blocking the lymph nodes from doing their job, getting rid of toxins. Where do you think these toxins are going to go? They dump right into the breast. If you smell, wash and use a deodorant that does not have aluminum in it.
Most of our cooking pans are made with aluminum. Get rid of them and only use stainless steel. Do not use pans that have that special coating on them, especially if their scratched..highly toxic. Do regular breast exams. A great time is while your taking a shower. Get in the habit of it. Do not wear sports bra's on a regular basis. In fact, go without a bra as mush as possible. They compress the breast and does not allow blood to flow freely. Drink plenty of water instead of soda. Limit your coffee intake to one a day if your a coffee lover. If you haven't picked up the habit, don't! Exercise, this keeps everything moving in your system. Walking is the best exercise for sure. Keep your body in PH balance. They have PH testing strips at your health stores. Cancer cannot live in a PH balanced body.


What is your best advise to husbands and partners (straight couples aren't the only ones who suffer) who see their loved one in such a painful situation?
My best advise is just be there for them. Encourage them any chance you get, but don't be overbearing. Always as much as you think about it, tell them that you love 'them', not their body parts. When one partner goes through such an ordeal, so does the other. Both are affected tremendously. Hold on tight!

Sweetie, thank you so much for taking the time to do this interview. I wish you the best, from all my heart. I truly feel your words will help someone, even in a silent whisper.
Thank you so much Damien for giving me this opportunity to help, if I can, others who are affected by this horrible disease. Please remember that these opinions are mine and mine alone. God bless.

You're a hero. Kick that bastard out forever.


Some of *SMerle's photos:




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Save the boobs. Be aware.
D.C.


Make sure to . She is very active on this area.